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Aug 13 2019 12:02pm
I met a girl recently who works at a coffee shop. Pretty good looking (CHECK), very warm personality (CHECK) and a few years younger than me (CHECK).

Still, I have these thoughts in the back of my mind that because she works at a coffee shop and doesn't have a career she isn't worth my time. I value a career and earning a good income quite highly so I've always thought I would be with someone who also embodies those traits; someone I don't have to subsidise.

I possess the self awareness to realise how ridiculous that is, but I also find it hard to not let that negativity envelope my psyche.
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Aug 13 2019 05:44pm
I dont see a question in there so I"m not sure if this is more of a "dear diary" thing or you want actual feedback. If you just want to vent, then feel free to ignore me.

If you want actual feedback:

I would assume that you are 25 from your username. Meaning this girl would be in her very early 20s. Are you for certain that she isn't just working part time in a coffee shop while getting her degree? I'm not going to shame you for valuing income/careers highly. Everyone values things differently in a relationship. I personally value humor and music taste way higher than most, whereas I dont prioritize money/career as something that's nearly as important. Everyone is different. My advice to you would be to ask her out if you like her. Get to know her first. Learn what she values, what her plans are, etc. If after a couple dates you've learned that she doesn't have anywhere near the same goals out of life as you do, you can end it before it gets serious. Maybe she'll surprise you though. Worst case scenario, you get to find out and might make a friend in the process.
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Aug 14 2019 09:20pm
I agree with the poster above.

I know what you mean as well. But there's nothing wrong with dating someone who may not be quite as far along in their journey as you are.

She might have a lot of potential, even regarding career wise as the previous poster suggested.
I'd say, check it out. I mean, she's already checking that many boxes, so follow up.

Plus right now she is just a potential prospect. You should see it as that.
You don't have to make the huge decisions right away (like, is she marriage material?).

This post was edited by GLYC123 on Aug 14 2019 09:21pm
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Aug 15 2019 10:31am
Hello, I understand your thoughts, successful career may be connected with high knowledge and intelligence, and it may be attractive. Although I think that age and job possibilities are correlated a bit, it could be hard to start career from having good income and prestigious position, unless someone is very skilled. Subsidizing in my opinion would be rather needed if someone was unemployed during studies and could not pay for a living himself. I would concentrate on other things that you mentioned, nice personality may be more significant for successful relation, than financial conditions. It may also improve over time, if she finishes studies and find other job opportunities, or get a promotion within company that she works at (there should be many possibilities, beginning from shift manager, ending at area manager position or in the headquarters).

This post was edited by icecool on Aug 15 2019 10:32am
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Aug 15 2019 02:45pm
Quote (dro94 @ Aug 13 2019 02:02pm)
I met a girl recently who works at a coffee shop. Pretty good looking (CHECK), very warm personality (CHECK) and a few years younger than me (CHECK).

Still, I have these thoughts in the back of my mind that because she works at a coffee shop and doesn't have a career she isn't worth my time. I value a career and earning a good income quite highly so I've always thought I would be with someone who also embodies those traits; someone I don't have to subsidise.

I possess the self awareness to realise how ridiculous that is, but I also find it hard to not let that negativity envelope my psyche.


Keep in mind you're looking for a girl. Not a man.
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Aug 16 2019 05:34am
Its probably better if she doesn't make big money. Know a bunch of marriages that split up that way. Is she any good with kids?
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Aug 17 2019 06:43pm
Agree with OP
Working in a coffee shop has no future unless she's about to graduate from uni and do something else.
You'll end up wasting money providing for her
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Aug 18 2019 01:18pm
This post is a violation of the site rules and appropriate action was taken.

I know a few CEOs who would love to keep you as a boy toy and fill your ass up every once in awhile, fag.


PS: They're all very successful and have tons of money, just shoot me a pm if interested. Oh and they're men but I don't think you mind.

This post was edited by alicedelmeow on Aug 18 2019 01:18pm
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Aug 19 2019 11:53am
Quote (alicedelmeow @ Aug 18 2019 02:18pm)
I know a few CEOs who would love to keep you as a boy toy and fill your ass up every once in awhile, fag.


PS: They're all very successful and have tons of money, just shoot me a pm if interested. Oh and they're men but I don't think you mind.


a Happy avatar and knows some dudes looking for a boytoy, i think you may have what it takes to be my new best friend. will send a PM later when i have the time.
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Aug 19 2019 11:59am
Quote (xBx @ Aug 19 2019 06:53pm)
a Happy avatar and knows some dudes looking for a boytoy, i think you may have what it takes to be my new best friend. will send a PM later when i have the time.


:rofl:
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