Quote (LazyDazy @ Aug 14 2019 02:47pm)
A little update on my thoughts. We haven't seen each other for quote some days, she's on vacation with her family. I must say, that I miss her. She wrote that she is visiting my home town next week, and asked if I wanted to meet her there so she could see the place with my eyes.
We're both Christians, so she also invited me to come visit her church. We are also going to meet on this Friday for a small trip in the woods. The way we message each other, I'm on one hand conflicted if she is just being nice, and how such a wonderful person would want to hang out. If you knew me personally, you would know how shy and awkward I can be in social situations. I really try not to overthink, just being happy that we get to spend this time together. I feel I genuinely want to tell her that I think she is a wonderful human being and if she would like to be more than friends. I just can't seem to figure out a way of telling how. In my imagination, it's quite distant.
I really appreciate you guys thoughts and wisdom, I understand a good way is to just very plain and simple ask her. Give her the space and the utmost respect if she has something else on her mind. I really don't want to seem pushy, desperate, or lose my face if she says no. All my previous relationsship was on the other girls initiative, so this is new to me. Your final thoughts on this is much appreciated, thank you so much so far for the comfort of mind you have helped me with
Also, she just texted me, asking how my day went, how hers went, how she loved the music I had recommended, sending pictures of the skies when you listened to the album. She is probably the most talkative person I've ever met, describing in almost poetic descriptions how she felt listening to that music, from her imagination and visions. I love that, I'm having some troubles sometimes giving a reply, but yeah, just thought I'd give that information as well
She sounds caring and interesting and genuine so it's understandable why you like her. A friend like that is not common enough so I'd recommend committing to keeping that friendship alive even if it only stays that.
She has an interest in you so don't doubt yourself. If writing is easier for you to communicate your feelings than do that. Dont put so much pressure on yourself. You're friends you're in this together it's your story so dont let negativity or self doubt creep in to your story. It's ok to want a romantic relationship with her and it's ok to tell her that and her answer is ok too, you'll make it work either way she feels.
I know you fear rejection and that's understandable. It hurts but dont forget it's ok to hurt sometimes it's a part of being alive. Fear is in your head but it doesnt have to control you. You feel how you feel but how you react is a choice so dont pass up this opportunity to tell a person that you care for them but also dont let it break you if it doesnt go your way. Look at it like this either this goes your way or it eventually leads to your future significant other down the road. We all get rejected by something or someone in our lives and it never feels good but dont let the fear stop you from trying because wounds heal. We all have self doubt about our worth or our appearance or our personality but that's us wasting our lives on made up things in our own heads. She has an interest in you. She likes you. She likes spending time with you and talking to you. She is your friend and she deserves your honesty so let her know not just how you feel but how she makes you feel. Following your heart is worth the risk of a wound, it'll heal as long as you don't keep it open with bitterness and regret and you'll be ok.
Write her a letter. Not a text not an email. Grab a piece of paper and translate your heart into words. This will allow you to not feel so much pressure and anxiety and it will allow her time to think about her own feelings and yall can discuss it after she contacts you
You mentioned a trip to the woods. Take the letter. See how the visit goes and if all is well and you still feel that way hand it to her or slip it in her bag/luggage/pack whatever at the end.
Risking being hurt for the truth is always better than living in fear. If you get hurt just remember that it will heal as long as you allow it to.