and practice my english.
well. it happened while I was dancing.
I'm not sure why, how or where it came from, but my God. I fell in front of all these people watching me while I was on the floor, sounding, on the floor of a dance floor... full of alcohol.
I opened my eyes. the alcohol in my blood had probably helped to calm the panic that was overwhelming me. probably I realized that something was just not right.
the security men helped me up and that's when I felt my leg and its creaking. panic was then overwhelming me much more and I shouted to my friend that I probably wasn't going to get out of here on my own.
I started crying, the pain and anxiety absorbed me: I think my foot was starting to make waves of pain that were ignored by the adrenaline. so I looked at my friend and told her to call the ambulance while a few people were there flattering my back while I was drinking water all the time. (thanks to the bartender for serving me so much water and not making me feel like I was disturbing her).
the paramedics arrived, so did my mother: I was there in front of all these people while playing like a real adult. and yet, the only thing I would have wanted was my cat and comfort.
We were in a basement. More paramedics came to help the paramedics already there. I didn't realize how much I was hurt, or anyone else, how could I have imagined that I had crushed almost the entire ankle? incredible.
so... we go to the hospital. impossible to stop panicking when my mother wasn't with me and I was really alone with a young man who looked very calm but not very comforting. I was so tired and sore. my foot literally turned black, I had bruises on my leg and when the lady lifted my leg (I couldn't do it and I was crying so much that it was useless to do it to myself): she made a face of disgust and told all the doctors present that she felt all the crackling when my leg was moving.
I could hear it.
I could feel it.
we're trying to think that we're overreacting, that it's okay.
but it was really not okay.
I had spasms in my leg, I was screaming, I was in so much pain, incredibly impressive: the pain was impossible to bear as time went on.
when I was sent to the radio: they sent me back in an emergency afterwards. 10 minutes later I was immediately called back: I passed in front of several people.
the doctor told me it was a severe injury, I had more than 4 fractures, my leg was no longer standing on its own. It was a surgical case.
my heart just stopped.
I hate spending the night away from my bed, I love comfort and I was in such pain: it was impossible to get used to the idea that I would go under the knife. that I would be put to sleep, that I would have screws, pins, metal, that they would put me on a surgical table.
the pain was so sharp, the slightest movement, the slightest second I spent in my chair was pure torture. my leg was probably detached from its bone (at my ankle level). it was just impressive because if I had been told it had happened just like that: I couldn't have believed it.