Quote (cbghas @ Jan 17 2019 09:03pm)
So I had started talking to a girl I went to high school with and her n I kicked it off. She was a few hours away for school and comes back every so often. So she finally got a chance to come see me after her n I had beentalking about 3 months. Her n I started dating and getting really close she took my virginity. After about a week and a half her ans I started having a few minor problems we managed to solve (communication issues). And we starting going good again well we are a month and and we fight once a day. She got off her antidepressant but today she said shes on her last straw. We both love each other very much. And we want to make it work.
A few of the problems
We both feel like we aren't good enough for each other.
When one is upset we both push each other to know what's wrong even if we know the other needs space.
We have fights over how many fights we have had.
And the first ones were not talking to each other when we r upset about it at all after the space had been given.
Compares our relationship with her long term one from 2 years ago with another man and said it was better.
I really care about this woman you guys are my last hope I want to save our relationship and hopefully one day marry this woman(as crazy as she can be sometimes). Shes the woman of my dreams. Please jsp help me fix this n make it keep going it's a good thing and neither of us feel complete or happy without the other her first night back we both cried bcuz we couldnt cuddle. I plan to drive n see her every weekend.
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Ok, number one issue I see is you did not mention your work even once. Do you love your job? Are you doing what you were meant to do on this Earth? If not fix this issue first.
Next, you said you spoke with this girl for 3 months? Dates are for talking, the phone/email/texts are for setting dates.
The inadequacy issues you are having are from a lack of experience and exposure. Wild guess most relationship experience you or she have had are negative or had bad endings? You may need to date more people to fix this in yourself.
A major thing you said was that she took your virginity. It's part of the problem you have, it's your mind set, it's wrong. SEX MUST ALWAYS BE THE MAN'S FAULT, ALWAYS. You will need to take responsibility to cause sex, this is your job in the relationship.
You must learn to love, so the other person feels free. Focus on your purpose and just make time for her when she calls/text/emails, consider these times where you should be setting dates up where sex can happen.
The fights are happening because you do not understand women in general and you do not understand what attraction is and how it works. Make some time for self learning and growth, the internet is big place and the answers are here! May the power of the Google be with you brother.
The comparison to other men or man, in general, is her telling you to fix your shit and act like more of a man than she is lol. You must learn to own your masculine energy and don't apologize for it.
Last, the other major issue is that she really matters to you. You must learn to treat her kinda like she doesn't matter. You have to be willing to walk away from her, you are too attached. You need to embrace you inner strength, the ability to be indifferent. Be very careful how you use this skill, it will change your life.
I say these things not to be mean but only to help you find what you really want, true lasting happiness. Do not fix or attempt to fix your girl, fix yourself, if the girl is still there after doing what you need to do for yourself so be it.
This post was edited by synidexxx on Mar 8 2019 10:25pm