You do need medical help. If the clonzapine doesn't work, you need to try something else. Talk to medical professionals.
Tell them the clonzapine doesn't work, there will be alternatives. Not to say there's no downsides to any medications or other ill side effects. Ask about it.
Usually I'm very anti-meds for a lot of things, but in serious cases like schizophrenia. It's dangerous.
I've interacted with people with that, and it can be very dangerous, and actually terrifying in certain cases.
You really need to just stop doing all of that other stuff you've been doing, get your life back, get some self control back.
You're obviously self aware of your own destructive behavior. I'd recommend just focusing on you for a while, locking down your mental health concerns and re-finding yourself and molding yourself into your best self.
This post was edited by GLYC123 on Sep 1 2018 11:00pm