So long story,

I was living in Mississippi until I broke up with my girlfriend if 3 years then moved back home to Florida. Was a really bad break up and I was depressed for probably a solid 2/3 months. Went dry for like 6 months then had a one night stand with this chick that I shouldn’t have from work and then that was done with. Recently I went out with another chick from work who is 23 or 24 has 3 kids and is still pretty cute. Going into this relationship I told myself and even my friends that I have zero intention of actually dating her. It would be purely for sex. So we go out have a good time I take her home and I guess I missed the signal to come in and she was down to fuck day 1. So the next few times I hangout I come over to her house instead of going out and we have sex. I stay the night a couple times we have sex a few more times and life’s good. Cute chick great In bed easily the best sex I’ve ever had. Then one morning when I stayed the night we had decided I guess that I was gonna meet her kids but she would have to like corale them up and have me sneak out then knock on the front door and come in and stuff. Well eventually she had been periodically checking in on them and one time she came back and didn’t lock the door and one of the kids walked in and saw me. She didn’t seem crazy mad but she was like “ok time to do damage control” so I went out met the kids and watched cartoons for a bit until one looked at me and said daddy. Then she kinda flipped on the kid and sent him to his room blah blah. I stayed for a little longer then she said she had to get ready for work and I was gonna need to go. - we only started hanging out maybe for 2 weeks total.

More backstory , I’m 20, and I probably wasn’t trying to duck her as much as she liked ( multiple times a day or before the one morning I was going to be late for work if I did )

So after all this she snaps me and says she just doesn’t think it’s going to work out. She said it had nothing to do with the kid calling me dad or anything and she wouldn’t give me an actual reason besides she doesn’t think it will work out.

Going in I told myself if I hit it 5 times and got out I would feel really great because again. I have zero intention of dating or marrying this girl. Poor house 3 kids and honestly she was maybe a 7/10 but like I said the sex was amazing.

So now we don’t talk anymore outside of work and what we say at work isn’t anything more than a couple words.

But the issue at hand is: I am depressed again. I can’t figure out if it’s because I don’t get to have great sex anymore ( which is what I think my issue is) or if I’m defaulting back to my earlier depression of how I might not be able to get another girl. Bottom line is I’m sad and I don’t know why. I had sex with her multiple times it was awesome and I have no ties to her. I don’t know why I’m sad if it’s because I didn’t get to break it to her or what. But I really need help coping with this because the online internet friends I raid with in wow are a bunch of dicks and my friends are all potheads going nowhere in life.

If you have any advice I would gladly take it. I’m sick of being sad depressed and having this thought I won’t get any girl ever and just sad in general for some reason when I shouldn’t be. The situati N went out exactly as planned. Idk I got feelings for her or something because she was cool to hangout with or if it was just the sex


Help me please 😕

You're young so this isn't judgement just experience

That way of thinking is shallow and shallow leaves little to hold on to in times of struggle

that doesn't mean it's wrong only that often times it doesn't lead to happiness

at 20 the goal isn't to switch from fun to purpose and meaning but to learn how to find balance and with balance your perceptions of life and your place in it become more enjoyable and easier to appreciate

I would try a few things

Exercise, not in a generic way but in a way that is both fun and allows thought and reflection. Something outdoors like hiking or kayaking, the sun the fun the meditation and perhaps community will help your mood
Yoga, very underrated by people that could benefit from it the most

Avoid "hit it and quit it" try to have meaningful relationships, that doesn't mean my version of how to date all that means is try to value everyone in your life and don't take advantage sexually if you know it's a risky situation either physically mentally or emotionally for either party

Discipline
Take up a hobby that promotes self discipline and growth, whether a martial art or something like archery get involved with something you enjoy and sincerely try to excel at it

Take time to appreciate, try donating a little of your time and effort to helping something or someone. Whatever you may care about find a little time to contribute to something else.

This is about building your core as a young person, with a strong foundation built on positivity, appreciation and kindness you will notice brighter surroundings

You'll screw up, you'll be sad, you'll make poor choices, you'll do dumb things but you'll also be ok and you'll meet people that appreciate your attempts to grow and better as person and one or some of those people may end up being the right person to join on the rest of your journey

i agree it was shallow but the main goal was so i could have fun and not be sad.

for some reason im still sad. and i agree i should take up some sort of hobby because it would be good overall for my health. but at the same time i think a real factor is im not sure where i will be able to meet new people

i work in a small town, i make good money, and the friends i have just don't have any motivation to do anything ever. just sit at home smoke weed play xbox and die. and everyone else i seem to ask says

tinder, or go to a bar and meet someone. and I can't realistically go to bars and start meeting people until august when i turn 21 and waiting until august before i can even start and try to fix my sadness sounds awful

This post was edited by MichaelBoy on Jun 5 2018 12:02pm

If you make good money make a good investment in my opinion

use it to get professional help whether through a medical doctor that you can trust or a therapist that you feel comfortable with
they will be able to help to see if this is something that can be helped with old Beo's methods or require something either through medicine or therapy

We are products of our environments but not chained to them so maybe it's time to consider moving and surrounding yourself with more positive influences

Making changes especially outside of our comfort zones are rarely easy but often necessary. Challenge that comfort zone, do scary but positive things, make tough but productive decisions

complacency is self torture and comfort zones are cages we build

push yourself, you can do it even if you don't want to

any idea of where to go out and find girls that are like age 17-20?

the only thing i can come up with is like going to the strip mall thing in pcb called pier park and talk to girls there or girls working at the stores there

Make a shirt, Man hoe for hire then on the back put your name and Number email etc

Lol

tinder, clubs, malls, events. its all pretty standard.

i mean im glad this one broke it off, shows she cares more bout them kids. if you TRULY feel bummed cause you didnt make that call...well...good luck with life and lemme know how it ends up for you.
in any event im sure your still depressed because you never really got over the initial break fully.
youre young, you have plenty of time to snap out of it. however you did a lot of changes after that first break (single, move states and went home etc). youre bound to need time to snap out of it specially after such a long time.

Yeah. Really I think I just need a steady girl for awhile to make things feel more normal here. Just can’t think of anything that works. Besides the obvious tinder everyone’s suggesting that just doesn’t seem right for me even though I guess I’ll have to try it. I wish I could like go out to eat somewhere and just see a girl talk to her and it hit off instantly

tinder isnt JUST for dtf hoes. you can find a decent mix of girls.

as for the other thing, why not? as long as you dont approach like a total skeev you should be able to say sup or whatever you guys tell people.

maybe move out of the town and into a big city. Meet more and better people.

this neediness that you have will only bring more suffering. you must love yourself and eliminate your dependancy of other people to give you psychological satisfaction.

this will be very hard to do. But u must find a way. there is no other way.