I have just recently split up with a girl who was perfect on paper, it's somewhat confusing and not nice at all to be on the hurting end,
especially when they're innocent and can't do any wrong. I do feel now I understand peoples actions more, experience good and bad is always good for perspective.

I have been madly in love with someone who emotionally and pshysically abused me.
I have been in love with someone who was no longer in love with me.
I have fell out of love with a girl who treated me like a king, never did any wrong, etc.

just become a monk bro

every experience should be different. you've already had the crappy relationships and come out stronger. that means the next one will be AW3SUM

I'll track this post. Things that I have been through, and loss...has given me a few heavy mental diagnosis. It's not fun man, but I hope it gets better for you.

its not confusing at all.
theres that scene in the matrix where he explains why "life" is hard. they tried to give us perfect little hapy bubbles but we rejected it. we cant just appreciate perfection...for perfections sake.

most people who are "perfect" on paper run into one of three problems...
1, they eventually show that human trait that breaks the image you hold and you dont ever get over it.
2, you get bored. perfect means no surprises or chaos. its very monotonous cause you know what to expect and when. even if its expecting to be shocked at every turn of the way. eventually it dulls and isnt as shiny and fun/new.
3, your human trait pops up and you start ruining things because you cant accept "perfection"

besides, truth be told no ones perfect ever and the those little imperfections are what make for a well rounded person.


as for my OWN experiences, very little. i dont do "relationships" or dating. i dont like people in my space or demanding my time or even really just wanting to be around me all the fucking time. i stick to my hookups and keep it that way.

TIL people take scenes from The Matrix literally

Nothing wrong with it, sometimes the chemistry just isn't there. And while you know that they're a great person, they just don't completely do it for you per say. Definitely been there before, it's tempting, but why settle for things that are just "alright"

In my opinion . It's probably worse to just be settling with someone like that, for both you and her, give you both the permission to move on and find someone that knocks your socks off.

This post was edited by GLYC123 on Mar 6 2018 03:20pm

I've been the poison and I've been poisoned in toxic relationships

Relationships really aren't hard it's the learning and the experience gathering that can be painful up until the point you improve your actions and treatment of others

which can often be a long drawn out process that some never even get to the point of acknowledging so they will never grow or improve

Memories of the poison is my fuel to appreciate everything I have now. To wake up every day and show consistent love to my friends and significant other.

I was surrounded by toxic people because I was toxic and now I am surrounded by love and trust because that's what I've been working toward.

I wish you the best on your journey. Things work out when you dedicate yourself to representing the good through consistency that you want to see more of and from others.

As someone who relates to all three, I think the most positive thing you can do is grow from each experience and move forward. Even bad relationships could have hidden blessings in them if you look closely enough. However, it's entirely up to you to move forward. Most things in this world are only temporary, the good and the bad. I like to think that the people that pass through our lives are meant to do so in order to help us to grow - if we let them.


Basically, yes.

I also think it's important that once you identify a toxic situation not to let it change you into a lesser version of yourself. Cycles are born way too easily this way (thinking of all of the "good guy gets played, becomes a cheater himself" scenarios).

This post was edited by Saltburn on Mar 9 2018 02:46pm

I don't really want to go too much into detail, I've explained so much over and over again. However, those feelings, are not new to me. End up stuck in your head if you can't sort some things out.

Each experience will give you an opportunity to change yourself and your perception, on whatever it is. Relationships/Love - We all know how much pain it could bring should it not be working out or ended. But there is also such a beautiful comfort in a healthy relationship.

Find someone, a friend, to confide in as well. We cannot always be so self insightful to see what we are doing wrong. All that we know is that somewhere, someone hurt or pissed someone off. Gotta take a break and clear up. As I am not necessarily practicing what I preach - things can become overwhelming.

Currently, I am at a restart with my fiance after 12 years. I had been through a lot as a kid and young adult. Never could mentally grasp how things worked and why I felt like shit or pissed off all the time. Changes how you look at things and treat people. That being said, I was also a toxic person. After a midlife mental breakdown about 2 months ago - I have healed and remain strong. However, the damage has been done and it's going to take a long time for my fiance and I to get what we had back. Kind of hard to look at the love of your life as she is working out her feelings. I love her, she loves me, but the distance is more that appears.

Anyway, I wish you luck. Here if you need to vent.