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Feb 1 2018 09:35pm
So I met this girl a little more then a month ago, I've known her for around 8 years before but we havn't exactly been talking for the past 6.
Anyway, we meet up for drinks and we immediately feel a connection, so we kiss and hold hands etc, this is the day before christmas.
We continue to meet almost every day and just hang out and well, do it. Come new years she asks me to get into an official relationship, and I say yes - although I was a bit afraid we where going to fast, but didn't mention it.
About a week passes, and I find out she doesn't take any birth control whatsoever, and her period is late - I freak the fuck out but she seems calm(she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to get a kid pretty soon) which freaks me out even more.
A week passes, unsteady but her period comes(Fk yeah!) and everything seems to be all good again except here's the part where she becomes more and more distant. She shows barely any affection at all, only time she does is when she notices I'm in a bad mood and wants to find out if it's because of her.
During this time she has also been kinda down because she's a horse owner, and her horse was sick and wouldn't get better so she had decided to let it move on, only thing is that she couldn't afford the ~600$ it costs to make it happen, so I offer to put out the money and she could work the depth off.
The horse was "handled" 3 days ago, I was there along with her and her friend, overall it went ok but ofcourse she was devastated for the moment. After this I've just been trying to give her space, we usually hang out on weekends(although last 2 weekends we´ve only seen each other for like 1 day since she planned other things to do) and this weekend she wanted to be alone, except for a dinner we're having with some friends this Saturday.

I have taken up the topic about her being cold and distant a few times, and it always turns into an argument where she tries to justify her way of treating me by reasons like her horse, that she was worried about pregnancy etc. and she promised me that after all this horse stuff has calmed down and she starts to feel better again things will be back to normal.
She has also said that she wouldn´t be together with me if she didn't want to, which I believe because she's a very straight and honest person. Every argument we've had has always ended with her telling me she does like me and that she knows she doesn't say it as much because she has a hard time displaying her feelings(something that didn't seem to be a problem at all at the beginning of all this).

I know it's only been 3 days since all this horse stuff happened, and that our relatonship has barely even begun, but I still need some opinions on this shit.

Am I being paranoid?
Am I being used?

If there are any questions or more information you need, don't hesitate to ask.
Not even sure why I'm posting here but fuck I just need to vent.
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Feb 1 2018 11:03pm
I think you're fine.
Cool it with the drama and the arguing.
Dating/relationships should be focused on having fun and being playful. (I get that disagreements happen occasionally though)

Just comfort her, she's having some hard times.
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Feb 1 2018 11:05pm
That horse was like a friend to her, gonna take more than 3 days to get over it.
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Feb 2 2018 08:29am
Owning a horse without even owning 600$?

I would try to date someone with a better sense of responsibility.
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Feb 3 2018 05:09am
Thx guys, appreciate the opinions.
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Feb 4 2018 06:31am
Her priorities seem a bit skewed, but we all have our faults. Give it some time. Don't press the issue, and don't psychoanalyze either. There's no way you'll win the game of figuring out a woman's head, so don't bother. The only game you can win is the game with her heart. Best move in life is to be yourself, so continue to do so. If you worry and wonder, do so, but don't hold that against her and manifest a fear into a reality.

If you continue to be that rock, and that friend, you may in fact get used. Just watch the funds a bit. If it's too much for you then it's too much for you. But remember, you offered. Out of obligation or pity, you made the decision, so man up and deal with that consequence. Don't hold it against her or someone else until it's time to. Be the boyfriend and friend you want to be, not the one she needs you to be. If she loves you, she will reciprocate. Only dating for one month? Things will change. That could be good or bad.

If it doesn't improve with time (and this can be ANY amount of time you feel YOU personally need), you simply lay the chips on the table and have a rational, adult, discussion. If it gets emotional and heated, remain calm. This is someone you have known about for a long time. But you don't know her one bit after a month. That's a drop in the bucket of 8 years and 2 with more frequent dialogue. Give it some time to learn her quirks and what you like and don't like. If it's 2 or 3 months in and everything is the same? Well, you know what to do.

Also, I'd advise your pullout game get strong in a hurry if she ain't about birth control. And in any relationship, that should be a mutual agreement. If it's against her ideology and you absolutely gotta get a nut? Pullout game. You have been with her for a month and have some issues. Imagine THAT issue. Don't sweat, but take a moment to realize that all actions have positive and negative consequences. A baby could be the best thing in the world for you. But perhaps nurture a healthy relationship with someone you can visualize being a mother and partner with first.

Good luck brotha.
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Feb 5 2018 02:28pm
run away and see if she run back to u
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Feb 6 2018 07:06pm
Turns out she was cheating on me, dumped me yesterday.. oh well.
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Feb 7 2018 05:01am
Quote (OnlyHuman @ Feb 7 2018 09:06am)
Turns out she was cheating on me, dumped me yesterday.. oh well.


Wow how did u find out?
& maybe that's why she was cold... feeling gulity maybe :(

cheer up m8, things will get better
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Feb 7 2018 08:35pm
leave them its not worth it to stay if there not close to you anymore
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