Had a similar dream to the last one.

I was at home for some kind of family get-together. I was on my cripple toilet. All of the family wanted to talk and socialize like normal, but I had to physically bar them out of the room by holding the door closed while I shit because they wanted to force themselves into the room and talk with me. I pooped so much that it was overflowing the bowl. It was heaping full of turds, like fragmented cylindrical chunks the diameter of my wrist. The toilet had so much shit inside it that it would not flush; all of the water was displaced, and the shit was so high it was brushing up against my cheeks and thighs.

Then I think later I went to play competitive Magic, but I didn't have the opportunity to clean off the shit on my cheeks and things, so I smelled the whole time. However, there were kids there who didn't take showers, so they smelled worse than I did and ended up taking the blame for my terrible smell.

Had a dream where there were these parasitic worm-like creatures. We called then nematodes, though those are microscopic in size irl. These nematodes, however, grew to about length and width of a #2 pencil.

In my dream, I thought it would be cool to raise one from a baby to an adult by allowing it to burrow into my forearm and live beneath my skin. That way, I would always have a pet with me. However, somehow it must have gotten pregnant (or maybe it just reproduced through mateless parthenogenesis), so I wound up with dozens of nematodes pulsing and wriggling beneath my skin. They grew to adult size, and once they decided to leave, they would bore holes in the heels of my feet and leave that way.

I didn't want these nematodes in my body (at least not this many), so I was using tweezers to pull them out as best I could. After pulling them out, I'd drop them in a basin of water and watch them swim around like leeches.

Then at some point I went outside, marking a shift in the dream. There was a problem with flooding due to global warming. The soil was supersaturated with water, so standing water was all over the place. There was a instructor going around the neighborhood leading a group of residents in an instructional talk, explaining how they could cope with the changing climate and flooding. He pointed to successful homes that used a certain type of soil and grass combo built atop a layer of rocks to limit the flooding. Then he gestured to my home as a "don't do this" lesson, since it had no grass whatsoever, so the mud was just covered in water.

Then it was noticed that there was a violent rain storm on the horizon, so everyone scrambled to their homes to take cover. I went into the basement and hid in this crawlspace where there's tons of spiders and it's really dirty. I still had nematodes coming out of the heels of my feet, but there was nothing I could do about it. They were still reproducing inside me, and it was becoming a concerning problem.

The storm made the house collapse, which made me feel annoyed because it meant I'd have to hold up in the crawlspace and eat emergency rations for several days until I could be rescued.

Had a dream where I went on a date with this girl I haven't seen since HS. We had a good time and were enjoying ourselves. I asked her to marry me. She said yes, so we got married immediately.

Later that day we arrived at home. Something didn't seem right though. She wasn't really responsive to what I was saying, and she was kind of just making weird random sounds. It turned out she had become severely retarded sometime between the wedding and when we got home. So now I was stuck having to care for this retard wife who couldn't even go to the bathroom on her own or feed herself.

I eventually said fuck it and abandoned her to pursue a life of adventure. I had this really sweet flying DeLorean, and I went flying from island to island in Crash Bandicoot 1. I did sweet burnouts and drifted around dirt roads in my DeLorean. Then the wife eventually found me (now unretarded), and yelled at me for not taking care of her. I just ignored her and kept on driving around in my DeLorean, eventually blowing by her, side-swiping her with my car, and knocking her down while building momentum to jump a giant dirt ramp, which would allow me to fly to the next island to escape her nagging.

This post was edited by Terps on Mar 20 2019 12:19am

Keep having similar dreams for some reason.

Had a dream where I had a prolapsed colon. I had the insides of my colon hanging out like a fleshy windsock like 20 feet long. The only way for me to go to the bathroom was for me to attach a 50-ft long length of PVC pipe to the end of my prolapsed colon and then let the PVC pipe hang off into the Susquehanna River at the Conowingo Dam and slowly poop over the course of an hour. Brandon was also there to help me with the PVC pipe and attaching it to my colon. It was embarrassing to do because people would see me, but it was the only way for me to poop. There was scientific research being performed on me and one other subject with the same condition to discover why this method worked.

At a later stage, I got tired of this method of pooping, so I decided to try something new. This upset my system, I wasn't able to poop anymore, and I could no longer poop the old way once I tried to go back. The moral of the story here was to be thankful for what function I had and try not to upset things by wishing for too much; just accept life for what it is sometimes because it could always be worse.

There was also one part of the dream where I was trying to climb along a pair of cables like 300 ft above the river, but then I realized this was a bad idea and tried to back-track about halfway across the river. The water was rushing below and it was really dangerous.

Had a dream where I was at a FNM draft for the next set coming out. There was this weird new thing where, instead of drafting cards, you would draft round, hard candies that represented cards. It got really confusing because I couldn't remember which candy correlated with which card. Plus a lot of the candies were similar, like it was hard to tell a yellow peanut M&M from a yellow Skittle from a yellow Lemonhead. So I had all these similar hard candies of different colors and varieties, which corresponded to specific Magic cards, and I couldn't keep track of it at all. I felt helpless and confused.

Anyway, near the end of the draft, I accidentally spilled my candies all over the floor. To make matters worse, our pod was drafting inside of a big old 80s Mercedes sedan with shag carpeting, and so my candies got lost underneath passengers' seats and in the carpeting. I was scrounging just to dig up enough hard candies to make a 40-card deck. I felt embarrassed because I got the feeling everyone was staring at me like an idiot as I tried to dig my candies out of the think, shaggy carpeting.

I must have been digging around for hours, because by the time I had enough hard candies to build a 40 card deck, FNM had ended. I looked up and realized that not only was FNM over, but the store had closed down for the night, and I was now locked in the darkness with no way to leave. It was just utterly embarrassing.


Later on, either as part of that dream or in a new dream, I eventually arrived home.

When I got home, I realized that someone had let inside a stray kitten that kind of looked like Zoey, but it had a slightly different color pattern, and it had a clear harelip. The kitten was deliberately trying to blend in and act natural so it could get food and attention. I led it outside where it belonged because adopting a 3rd cat is out of the question.

As time went on, this kitten kept trying to trick its way into the house. In addition, I began to notice other stray animals wandering around: several cats and a couple dogs. I reasoned that it would be best to capture them and send them to the humane society, since I didn't want these strange and possibly dangerous stray animals walking around the neighborhood, and I figured the animals themselves would be happier if they could get adopted.

I asked my dad to help me catch the stray animals. I located several of them playing in someone's back yard. I paused for a moment because it occurred to me that these might actually be someone's pets and not actual stray animals, since we were trespassing into someone's yard, but my dad told me to hurry up and help him wrangle them up, so I complied. He whipped out these ziploc bags and placed the animals in the large freezer bags and sealed them up. He did it so matter-of-factly that I didn't really think to question it. We did this with like 4 kittens/cats and a couple dogs (really big freezer bags for the dogs). Then we stuffed all of the animals in their bags into the cat carrier. I began to question if we had done this correctly, because it seemed like the animals couldn't breathe in their ziploc bags, and they were no longer moving. We drove up to the humane society at night and left the whole cat carrier full of animals in bags on their doorstep.

The next morning there was a segment on the news condemning some unknown animal-torturer for leaving a cat carrier full of dead animals on the doorstep of the humane society, which gave me the feeling that they might have been talking about us.

Been awhile.

Like a month ago I was going through some illness, which caused some pretty weird dreams. One night, I kept waking up and then falling back asleep. In my dreams, it was different stages of a school shooting on campus. It'd cycle through a "what I could have done differently to stop the shooter" scenario, a "survivor's remorse" scenario," and the actual school shooter event. They were different each time, but it was always one of those three whenever I'd fall back asleep.

Ever since then, I've seriously been a bit on-edge about school shootings. Like, there was this one weird incel kid in one of my classes, and I couldn't/can't shake the feeling that this weirdo might want to kill me because I failed him.

Had a dream last night where a student emailed me asking for extra credit. His email proposed that I should offer him extra credit for attending an event at his Catholic church. The event was called something like "Spread the Seed for the Sisters," which was an event hosted by nuns and similar to a blood drive in execution, only it was intended to convince men to donate their semen to a sperm bank. (Reading between the lines, I think it was a subtly racist way of trying to birth more white people, since all of the congregants were probably white). The student mentioned that his pastor failed his last donation, but he'd be willing to try again for extra credit. I remember crafting a response explaining how this didn't fit within the learning goals of the writing class and wouldn't earn credit.

--

In another dream, I was at some kind of party. I awkwardly got paired with the incel kid whom I failed irl (from the previous post). We were supposed to be partners in playing some kind of movie trivia game. Movie trivia is not my thing, and I knew he'd excel at it, so I felt kind of bad and even more awkward. We didn't win the trivia game, and I don't think he actually spoke to me at all the whole time; he only shouted responses to the trivia questions while deliberately avoiding eye contact.

Later, after I left the party, I was involved with some police traffic stops. I wasn't an officer; just a citizen pulling people over to check that there was nothing suspicious in their vehicle. Things were going okay until I pulled over a 90s Chevy Blazer driven by a pale, skinny white trash country bumpkin dressed in nothing but raggedy denim overalls. His vehicle was crammed full of baby cows, like 5 or 6 of them. The cows were all pale from having never seen sunlight, they were unable to move because they hadn't been allowed to walk their whole lives, and they had bed sores all over them from lying down all of the time and being all crammed next to each other. I wasn't really sure how to handle the situation, and I don't exactly remember how the dream ended, but I do remember freeing all of the baby cows and letting them roam around on the road and in people's yards (I guess they could walk after all).

(this one isn't really that interesting)

Had another school shooting dream. This time I was at some high school. I was going to some science classroom (you know the ones with those fireproof black tables). My uncle was the science teacher, which was surprising since he's a high-priced corporate lawyer irl.

Since it was Friday, my uncle decided to surprise his students with a repast of grilled chicken slathered in BBQ sauce. He cooked all of the chicken in the classroom during lunch hour while the students were out. However, he wouldn't let the students actually have any of the chicken until Monday; he was just making it ahead of time. He made an exception for me though, since I was family. I took one big piece, and then I took several bites at once until chunks of the whole chicken breast were in my mouth. The chicken was really tough and overcooked, but the BBQ sauce made it taste good. My uncle then put the chicken away in storage.

After some time, the lunch hour ended and the next class started. I took a seat with the other students. I figured they wondered why some random adult was sitting in their classroom attending class, but they were very welcoming and acted like it was normal. I mentioned to one of the students that my uncle had made them a special surprise for Monday, and one of the students replied "Oh, you mean his grilled chicken? We know. None of us really like eating it, but we eat it anyway because it would hurt his feelings if we didn't. Kind of ruins the whole thing because it's refrigerated over the weekend."

While class was waiting to start, that was when the first gunshot was heard echoing through the hallway. Students came running into the classroom. I was hesitant to let all of these students in, since one of them could be the shooter, but I waited a bit since I assumed most of them were just fleeing the shooter. However, I eventually went to lock the door, since I knew that was protocol. As I went to lock the door, the school shooter opened the door right in front of me while holding his revolver. It must have surprised him to see me right there in the doorway. It surprised me as well. I reached out as if I was going to lock the door, but I accidentally grabbed his revolver and took it from him, emptying all of the rounds onto the floor by accident during the disarming. The shooter tried to flee, but he was tackled by students and faculty. I was regarded as a hero, but I felt like a big phony, since I knew my actions weren't deliberate, and it wasn't like I was being brave. I was actually just trying to save my own skin by locking the door.

After the shooter was subdued, we all waited for authorities to arrive. We were waiting... and waiting... for hours... and then days... Literally no one showed up, not even bus drivers at their usual time. The school had become overgrown like the house on Jumanji. Someone had to go out and send for help. I volunteered to brave the elements and overgrown surroundings to find help. I was scaling cliffs and hacking away at jungle debris with a machete, it was pretty sweet. Then this moderately attractive girl I know irl decided to join me, but it was kind of pedo to be interested in her because she was one of the students so I abstained from really ogling her.

This post was edited by Terps on May 26 2019 09:47am

Had a dream where I unknowingly fell asleep on a pillow that had some microscopic parasitic worm eggs or larvae on the pillowcase.

When I woke up, I had these sores on my face. One of them had a little worm end coming out of it. I got some tweezers and tried pulling out the worm. It actually came out pretty easily despite the worm being very long. It stretched from my cheekbone (where I was pulling it out) to the salivary gland beneath my jaw. I could feel it sliding out from underneath my skin while I pulled it out slowly and carefully (didn't want the worm to break into a smaller piece inside my skin). It really made me cringe, but I toughed it out. Then I realized the dozen or so other red pimple-looking lesions were also worms that had burrowed into my face, which I would either have to dig out or just accept that there was nothing I could do about them.

--

In another dream, I was playing Friday Night Magic. It was an anxiety dream. I was taking forever to make my turns, like 5 minutes or more. My opponent was clearly somewhat frustrated, but he was still polite about it all.

My turns were taking so long because I was really unsure about what to play. My opponent had a couple creatures on the field, and I had plenty of playable creatures and removal that I could have played, but I was just mentally frozen about what to do. I remember repeatedly counting my mana (4 forests and 3 swamps) and then counting the mana costs of the cards in my hands. I could have played literally anything in my hand, and I could have been playing things every turn of the game (since I had 2-drop creatures), but instead I kept counting my mana, being unsure if I could play something (even though it was obvious I could), getting decision paralysis about what to play, and then passing turn in frustration without even playing anything because I knew my turn had already taken too long. I must have ended turn without playing anything for at least 7 turns because my field and graveyard were completely empty while my hand was full. Idk why I wasn't dead yet.

Had a dream where 1/4 of the population was duplicated/cloned (kind of like Thanos-style finger-snapping everything all at once). This is kind of an atypical dream, since I wasn't in it, although this is hardly the first time that's happened.

Many families were impacted by this on a deeply personal level. For example, while a wife might not have been duplicated, her spouse was, which caused conflict, as only one husband could be the one true husband while the other was just an unwanted clone with all of the original person's memories and feelings. Same with child/parent relationships, etc. There were also problems with personal information (like SS#, credit cards, possessions), as it was unclear who had the rights to these possessions.

I guess society was somehow able to tell which individuals were the clones/duplicates, since these people were generally unwanted and discriminated against by the general public. To counteract this persecution, the cloned individuals formed their own society, in which they would discuss their issues and how to move forward. As society became evermore violent toward them, they became evermore violent toward society to defend themselves.

Eventually the cloned people decided to plan a bloody uprising. In order to take back their place in society, they decided to commit what they called a modern version of the "Kristallnacht," in which everyone would murder their counterpart and take their place as the "real" version of themselves. The riot was carried out, though idk how it ended.

--

In another dream, I dreamed that I was doing some casual driving in the local area just to explore country roads and see sights. I got kind of lost and found myself in a very strange yet beautiful location. The landscape was reminiscent of the painted desert in AZ ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painted_Desert_(Arizona) ). However, the landscape was more canyon-like with a deep ravine, in which a town was built into the cliffs.

The town was not modern; it was reminiscent of medieval architecture with stone walls and crenelated castles built jutting out of the walls of the canyon. However, not all of the town had medieval architecture. There were still some modern, cheaply-built strip malls with shops like Dollar General and other businesses you typically see in low-income neighborhoods. So it was like a mix of old historic stone buildings and cheap strip malls.

I went into one of the builds to not only find out where I was (since I was lost) but to also find out more about the town. I went into one of the castle-like buildings. It was a school for magic similar to Hogwarts. I think I signed up for an English 101 class (as a student), but the class called for us to do a shitload of reading, so I dropped it in the first week and tried a different 101 class, which also had too much reading, so I just dropped out of magic college altogether. While I was there, there were some mysterious, clandestine things going on kind of like in the Harry Potter movies. I think I killed a sleeping vampire at one point. And also there was some Area 51 alien shit hidden there.

Anyway, after dropping out of magic college, I checked Google Maps just to see where I was. Turned out this weird town was only 7 to 9 miles away from where I actually lived, which was weird because I had never seen it before and the landscape would make no sense where I live, but I accepted it as fact nonetheless.