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Member
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Joined: Jan 19 2004
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Aug 12 2018 12:54pm
Been awhile. Haven't been remembering my dreams very well for some reason.

Anyway, last night I dreamt that I was a kid in middle school, and I had just moved to a new school in the city and it was my first day. The entire student body was in the gymnasium for a school meeting (kind of like in South Park with all the kids in the bleachers).

At some point in the middle of the event, someone noticed and spoke up about a trail of wet diarrhea smears leading up through the hallway and to the bleachers. The mostly black student body was acting all demonstrative over the diarrhea trail, some acting all grossed out, others laughing and wanting to know who did it.

I went over to look at the diarrhea trail to see where it went, because I, too, was curious. What I realized is that the trail went directly up to the bleachers where I was sitting. I must have sharted at some point in the hallway, and it leaked out of the bottom of my jeans without me noticing. It was truly an impossible amount of diarrhea, like 100ft of wet diarrhea in a 3 ft width, extending from the hallway to the bleachers, so it's unimaginable that I didn't notice.

I went to check the back of my pants to see if they were wet with diarrhea, and, sure enough, they were soaked with wet shit--it was a total blowout. I tried to cover it with my hoodie (like how you tie your jacket around your waist), but even my jacket was covered in brown skid-marks. Some students noticed that my jeans were wet with the brown water and began to excitedly draw attention to me. Now everyone knew me, the new kid, as the one who got diarrhea all over the place.

I wanted to leave, and I made it about halfway through the gymnasium, but some teachers stopped me at mid-court. They wanted me to wait until the janitors had cleaned up first before I kept walking, so I had to stand in the middle of the gym while the janitors did their thing, all while the other students were raucously laughing at me from both sides of the gymnasium (there were bleachers on both sides of the gym filled with students).

Eventually, after the janitors were finished, the teachers led me out of the gymnasium and through the hallways--a scene reminiscent of the walk of shame from GoT, only instead the hallway was lined with students who were laughing at me.
Member
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Sep 11 2018 01:28am
I've been negligent on writing these things down.

Had a dream where there was a giant yacht in the neighbor's pond, very luxurious. It didn't really have much room to maneuver. Then an electrical fire broke out, and the yacht was considered totaled by the insurance company. This was especially devastating to Brandon, because he had a lot of sentimental attachment to the yacht. Then the dream did like a cinematic flashback to when Brandon was in his early 20s and looked like a young Robert Redford. Brandon was reminiscing about the time in his youth when he would spend his summers working as a laborer for the yacht owner. In the flashback, Brandon was furiously swatting hockey pucks into the side of a wall inside the yacht, doing severe damage to the drywall. There were probably 50 or so hockey pucks just lying on the floor, with Brandon just swatting them as quickly as possible at the wall, for practice, I guess.

--

Had another dream where I was in middle school and my parents were going to pick me up from school for some reason (like a dentist appointment or w/e). My dad was driving an old station wagon, and my mom was also there in back. I got into the passenger seat and then gave my dad directions on how to leave the school parking lot. He kept saying like "okay" and "uh-huh" to indicate that he understood my directions, but his driving indicated that he had no idea what I was telling him to do.

Anyway, somehow he drove through a giant window and into the school itself. I was freaking out, as one would expect, but my dad was just calmly trying to figure out how to drive on out of the school building. He drove through some walls to the school building and up some stairs. Behind one set of walls, a couple school teachers in their 40s-50s were having old people sex on a desk, and they were embarrassed at being exposed while simultaneously outraged at my dad for driving through the building in his car.
Member
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Sep 15 2018 09:48pm
Had a dream where I worked at an elementary school. There was a book drive of some sort to help raise money for the school. Several faculty members bought stacks of books and then left them in their cars, continuing to work at the event. I also bought a stack of books and left it in my car.

While the teachers were hosting the event, thieves went into everyone's cars and stole all of the books... except my car. I was the only one whose books were not stolen. I was a little hurt that they didn't find the books I purchased interesting. They did take my radar detector and ipod, however.

In retrospect, I realized that, as I was heading back to the event, I unknowingly gave a perfunctory "hello" to one of the thieves as he was breaking into someone's car.
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Oct 10 2018 02:46am
Had a dream where my urethra was chock full of this reddish-brown clay-like substance--the type of buildup that occurs in tap water systems. I remember feeling concerned that this might be a sign of a greater health problem.

There have been many dreams since I last wrote, but I've either forgotten them too quickly or neglected to write them down :(
Member
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Oct 24 2018 01:37am
Had a dream where some of my fellow professors were really excited about going to some museum. I wanted them to respect me and accept me as one of them, so I tried to act interested in going to the museum too.

They all showed up at my house at like 2 am. They had inhuman levels of excitement, as if all three of them had snorted many lines of cocaine. They told me that some friend they knew at the museum had a museum key that he was going to give them so that they could visit the museum any time. Their friend was going to leave work at the museum soon, so they had to race there immediately and get the key before he left. I suggested that their friend could just leave the key someplace safe (like under a rock or something), but they insisted that they had to get it now, right now, so that they could explore the museum at night when no one was there.

So we all left in separate cars. They were all driving recklessly, like how you would drive in GTA. I was following a 90s Beige Buick Regal. It was spinning out around turns and passing people dangerously. I wasn't sure if I should drive just as erratically to keep up or just drive normally and catch up later, but I had to make up my mind immediately and keep to it, so I decided to try following him.

I was passing people on double yellows, passing on blind turns, driving very fast, making sudden turns etc. The chase continued as the Regal I was following drove into a crowded suburban neighborhood with a lot of homes and small streets. He was weaving in between small groups of people walking all over the place. I was trying to keep up, but I think either the Regal or my car (or both) ran up onto the sidewalk and killed like 5 or 6 trick-or-treaters. I got out of my car and checked to see if they were okay, but I'm pretty sure they were dead.

Nighttime sky was beginning to turn into early dawn. I think the ring-leader began to realize that we weren't going to meet the friend at the museum in time to get the key, so we all went to McDonalds for some early morning breakfast. I got some hashbrowns. I leaned against some guy's full-sized 1980s Econoline van as we all stood outside in the parking lot and ate our food and just talked about random shit.

This post was edited by Terps on Oct 24 2018 01:38am
Member
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Gold: 79,366.46
Oct 30 2018 01:17am
Had a dream where I kept falling out of my wheelchair, like I fell out probably 3 times in one hour, hitting the floor pretty hard with my bony pelvis.

I didn't think there was any serious damage at first, but then I noticed by testicles were really swollen. both of them had swollen to the size of a mini Nerf football, like this:



I was reluctant to go to a doctor, hoping that it would just heal up on it's own and the swelling would go down, but that never happened. Instead of going to the doctors, I woke up instead.
Member
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Nov 10 2018 02:59am
Had a dream where I was going for a little hike. In my dreams, it's inconsistent whether I'm walking or wheeling. Sometimes I walk w/o thinking about it; other times I know that I shouldn't be walking and feel self-conscious about doing it. Anyway, I knew that I shouldn't be walking on my little hike, so I compromised and bounced around on an old-fashioned metal pogo stick.

Once I got to this little pond area, I noticed there was some kind of gathering going on in some farm building up on a hill. I asked this nice old black lady what was going on, and she said it was some kind of like farm food and drink-tasting event. I decided to go up the hill, only this time I was inside of a giant hula-hoop, rolling like one giant wheel, somehow propelling myself up the hill from inside the hula-hoop.

I arrived at what was like an open barn (Like that Highland Brewing Co. place we went to). There were people there tasting things like beer, honey, and other assorted foods and drinks, which were laid out across a ring of rustic wooden tables. Apparently the way the event worked was everyone would try food and drink at one table and then wait patiently for the group ahead to finish at the next table, thereby allowing everyone to follow in like a ring until they'd tried everything.

As I arrived at the barn, I couldn't or didn't know how to get out of the hula-hoop wheel I was inside, so I helplessly rolled through table upon table of food and drinks, eventually falling onto my side like a coin rolling to its side. I was embarrassed, although the patrons didn't seem to notice. Nevertheless, I tried to lay low once I was free from the hula-hoop, trying to avoid attention for wrecking the food tables.

However, while I was trying to blend in, I think it was Chris' mom who started yelling my name and trying to get my attention. "Fuck," I thought to myself, "I'm going to have to socialize." Apparently Chris'a extended family (but not Chris himself) were all there at the gathering.

So I went over and said hi. Took a seat with them. Then one of the patrons of the catering event walked up to me and pointed out that I hadn't paid yet, which was kind of embarrassing because I was surrounded by people I sort of knew. I got out my wallet, but I immediately realized I didn't have the $15 necessary to attend the event, which was even more embarrassing, so I kind of just tried to sidle out of the barn without making much of a scene, but they all probably left thinking I was some kind of poor loser. Finished my walk and went home, I guess
Member
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Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Nov 13 2018 02:57am
Had a dream where I put a plate on my lap. Come to discover later on that the plate was really got, and I had severely burned my thighs/lap. Flesh was hard like an overcooked steak, and the skin had fluid-filled blisters all over them.

--

Had another dream where those creatures from Alien (the ones that wrap around your face) had infested Earth. I was with a group of random people trying to survive, but one by one they'd get face-wrapped and have their tummies explode with aliens.

At one point we were trying to escape via raft, but some sharks came by and capsized the raft (it was actually a really cool scene). I wound up in the water and knew I had to get back to the boat asap before those alien thingies swam up to me and wrapped around my face. I got back on top the capsized raft just in time, but the other people who fell out weren't so lucky.

---

Finally, had a dream where my mom worked as a manager at a very busy McDonald's. My mom suffers from some pretty severe depression, she's incredibly lazy (sleeps like 18 hours a day), physically slow and sore, and just totally unfit to work any job whatsoever, so her working a hectic job as a fast food manager is just absurd.

Anyway, while the place was really busy, the building caught on fire. My mom was trying to calm down the customers while the fire was raging so that she wouldn't lose business. She wanted to keep the lines moving and drive-through lanes churning, so she tried to calm everyone down. Eventually the fire department came and extinguished the flames. The walls of the kitchen area was charred black, yet somehow the place kept humming.

Out in the parking lot, the lot had about 3 to 4 feet of water everywhere. This was permanent and considered normal. Within the parking lot pool lived a rare and endangered species of whale, which lived exclusively in these parking lot pools. I was told that the species was dying out due to loss of habitat and climate change/global warming making the waters too warm. You could tell the whale wasn't doing well because it could only helplessly flop around the parking lot. It couldn't swim because water only covered the lower half of its body.

Behind the McDonald's was a stray cat, which was feral and reminded me of Curley (my cat who died a few months ago). I decided to try and adopt the cat, but it didn't like me and would scratch and bite my arm really bad. Nevertheless, the cat wound up sleeping in my bed one night, but then I realized this probably wasn't a good idea because now my bed was crawling with fleas. Also, by the end of the dream, I had adopted another cat, which was Grabey (my other cat who died in August), and I also owned my current kitten, Zoey. So I had all three cats by the end of the dream.
Member
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Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Dec 6 2018 04:25pm
Had a dream where I was watching Around the Horn, and Woody Paige was talking, but he could barely put his thoughts into words due to his severe Alzheimer's, and everyone else on the show was in tears because they just felt so bad for him.


I've had other dreams. Just keep forgetting to write them down.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Dec 11 2018 03:53pm
Had a dream where I was watching women's soccer on ESPN (lot of ESPN dreams lately for some reason). During the soccer match, one woman got kicked really hard in the pelvis with a soccer ball, which caused her athletic shorts and lady parts to immediately rip open like that scene in The Exorcist when her skin rips when splashed with holy water. Then the camera really zoomed in on her lady parts, which were all splayed open with a nasty gash. It looked like an over-the-top horror movie injury because the wound was excessively bloody and bright red. Bits of flesh were hanging off like what you'd see on a carcass that some lions are devouring. I remember thinking in my dream that it's kind of fucked up that the broadcast team was zooming in on this lady's mutilated vaj, but I justified it by accepting that this is just the way the media is nowadays.

I think this dream might have been inspired by Titans LT Taylor Lewan flipping off the camera as they hovered over him during an injury, which I saw on reddit before bed.




---

In another dream, I think I was in middle during lunch hour. Everyone was eating, and I thought maybe I could consume food my placing a round ball of food (french fries maybe? Or maybe a piece of a mozzarella stick) into my urethra. I pushed the ball of food into my urethra about the length of my finger, but then I got second thoughts that maybe this was a bad idea and decided to squeeze out the ball of food like how you squeeze out a freezie-pop. There was still some food matter and crumbs in there, so I tried to shake it out as best I could afterwards.
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