Had a dream where I got in trouble for a tweet (I don't tweet). I read some article about the Vatican looking for a full-time male child concubine, paying a rate of $50/hour. I sent out a tweet along the lines of "You'd be crazy not to take this job. I'm not gay, but $50 is $50."
Then someone came knocking at the door some days later. I was still a kid in my dream (ideal priest-bait), so my parents answered the door. It was the pope himself accompanied by some other random priest who looked just like the old guy from The Exorcist (but it wasn't him). They told my parents about my tweet. I tried to backtrack my way out of it. I thought my parents would help me talk my way out of it, but my they thought this would be a good teaching moment, telling me "you can't tell people you'd do something and then not do it. You have to be a man of your word."
I honestly don't remember getting raped specifically. I don't think that was physically shown as a part of my dream, but it was accepted that it happened (I guess dreams have a cinematic quality to them). I remember my bedroom looked like a tornado hit it: child's clothes everywhere, bed sheets all pulled up and hanging off the bed, closet door open, dresser drawers opened randomly with clothes hanging out. The implication was clear.
I was crying in my room. My dad came in to put a moral to the story on this life lesson, and to try and cheer me up because my family was about to come over and meet the pope and he didn't want me crying in front of them.
So the Greek half of my family came over for a casual get-together (the same old 10 people or so, not even catholic). The usual snacks were served: tiropitas, dolmathes, hummus, fresh veggies, etc. They were mostly all gathered in the living room, snacking and making conversation with the pope and his sidekick, asking questions. I was centered between the pope and the other priest on a couch. I wasn't eating or talking, just remaining somber and quiet because I wanted all of this to end quickly and without the family finding out why the pope was here. I remember thinking that, listening to the pope talk, he was actually a pretty nice guy outside of raping children.
The other priest, however, was a real deviant with a hidden evil side that only those he victimized would know about--a seemingly nice guy to friends and family, but a bad person deep down. At one point, my family asked the priest how he knew the family, and I don't remember what he said, but he did that thing gesture where he tapped his fingers repeatedly on my head like Zed and the gimp from Pulp Fiction--a gesture the family would not question, but which he and I knew was a sign of ownership and dominance. I was utterly disgusted and sickened by him.
At some point, the priest I hated got up to get some more cut veggies and hummus. I noticed that there was this pile of shit on the carpet, which was unremarkable at first, but it began to move, and it had a faint rainbow shimmer like the residue left by a slug. People were inadvertently stepping in the pile of shit, tracking it throughout the house, yet the individual pieces of the shit were pulsating like a larva or maggot. I pointed it out to everyone because I found it remarkable--shit is not supposed to pulsate and have bits of color. However, as the priest sat back down, he informed me and everyone else in a very matter-of-fact tone that that's just what happens when you have a lot of fluoride in your diet.
--
Second dream my dad and I were visiting a neat little place to stroll near the water, a lot like the promenade in Havre de Grace (I'll just assume it was the mouth of the Susquehanna in Havre de Grace). You could walk on sections of floating plastic docks and see the water. There was this cool thing where you could be released into the water on a floating section of dock, and a boat would come pick you up once you were kind of in the middle of the body of water, so my dad and I did this, sharing the platform with another guy with two young kids (like 5 and 7 years old, girl and boy).
The platform went out into the middle of the water, which was pretty cool because the shores were very far away, and you could see all of the land from a distance. The little tug boat came out to ferry us back to shore. However, as the tug boat was about 20ft away, something happened: it began to sink rapidly. Apparently some sharks had cut into the hull (kind of like in Jaws) causing the boat to sink. I was scared, because who knew if the sharks were going to try and do the same to the floating dock we were on, or try to flip the whole dock with their swimming current like orca whales do to seals on bits of ice.
There was really nothing we could do; we just had to hope that the current would eventually take us back to shore. I remember discovering that the guy sharing the dock with us had a little cooler of dried citrus fruits (lemons, limes, grapefruits--terrible fruits to eat on their own), feeling a sense of relief that, not only had we something to eat, but a food source that would prevent scurvy.
Remarkably, late in the day, with the sun just barely providing dim yellow light, the dock was only about a 1/2 mile away from the shore--the current must have carried us to shore a good ways. The guy we were with managed to rig up repairs for an old, decrepit, outboard boat motor (he didn't have this before). It was one of those little electric motors you'd see on a tiny boat for calm, fresh-water boating--way underpowered to really move the dock on which we were floating. Nevertheless, it moved us slowly but surely.
We were like 300ft away from the shore by sunrise--tantalizingly close enough to swim, but swimming wouldn't have been much faster than we were already moving, and the water was that really gross brown color that is kind of dirty/polluted (just like upstream Susquehanna). It was right about here when we noticed a whale fin dipping into the water uncomfortably close to the dock. That whale could flip the dock and kill us all if it got too close. Then several porpoises started jetting across the water, creating quite a current, enough to violently shake the floating dock. I thought maybe they were trying to kill us, but it turned out they were on our side, fighting off some sharks that were trying to kill us.
Eventually the floating dock made its way to shore. It was really hard to get to shore though, as the shoreline was a sheer rock wall with only unstable pieces of driftwood at its base serving as something to walk on to get to an accessible shoreline. We eventually made it to shore though. Also I realized Tom Brady and Giselle had been on board the dock with us the whole time. Once we made it to shore, I made this joke to Brady and his wife that was so forced and awkward that it made me cringe afterwards: "they had ought to put that raft in the hall of fame." I think Tom gave a cordial laugh, but I could tell it was forced, and I felt like such a loser. The dream ended not in triumph but in shame.