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Member
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Mar 27 2018 03:50am
Last 2 weekends I’ve been getting fucked up but enjoying myself and still doing well at the gym and work.

House / separation with ex has been established and she will be off the home loan...finally.

I’ve been spending A LOT of money in the last few months. If I had to have a guess I’ve spent ~15k-20k basically on drugs, alcohol, Ubers etc...
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Apr 10 2018 04:25am
Although I haven’t been feeling depressed and have actually been enjoying myself a lot I’ve started dipping in to my second mortgage savings to pay for my drug and alcohol use. This needs to stop....badly.
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Apr 10 2018 04:33am
Quote (bjones9 @ Apr 10 2018 07:55am)
Although I haven’t been feeling depressed and have actually been enjoying myself a lot I’ve started dipping in to my second mortgage savings to pay for my drug and alcohol use. This needs to stop....badly.


Wtf
STOP
use diablo as your drug
that's what i do
also gambling
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Apr 10 2018 05:31am
Quote (Reginaaccchecker13 @ Apr 10 2018 08:33pm)
Wtf
STOP
use diablo as your drug
that's what i do
also gambling



I’ve probably dipped about 4K worth out of the account.

Tad scary
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May 13 2018 02:11am
Been constantly using drugs every weekend. This one is the first time I’ve felt bad / coming down about it for a while. I think it’s due to not sleeping for 40+ hours.

I’ve moved stores for work and it’s been a challenge, one which I’ve enjoted. I thought moving stores would help with the drug use but it hasn’t. The first weekend I was there I went out, didn’t go to bed and went to work for 10 hours.

I’ve also spent a LOT of money. I would imagine it would be around the $25,000 mark since the start of the year. Funny to think what I could have done with that money, oh well.

I’ve met a girl but feel like I don’t want a relationship. She is really, really in to me and it scares me. I don’t want to hurt her nor be hurt again. I sometimes push her away and have even had sex with others (we haven’t said we are exclusive) but I still feel bad. I haven’t told anyone this.

Otherwise I’m feeling healthy. I’ve put on the 12-13kg I lost over December / January and am fit and strong again.
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May 21 2018 06:35pm
I bought some stuff off people I don’t know on the weekend and it’s really messed me up. I went out on Saturday and just blacked out. It’s currently Tuesday and I’ve been sleeping for like 10-12 hours each night with no motivation or drive to go to the gym or even get out of bed. I’m basically just going to work then going to bed. I’ve lost 5kg since Saturday.
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Jun 4 2018 11:51pm
Had a friends birthday pub crawl on Saturday. I’ve never done so many diffeeent types of drugs in such a short time. The pub crawl started at 1pm and I didn’t get home until 9am the next day. I blacked out for the majority of the night.
Sunday was spent laying in bed with a girl I’ve kind of been seeing. I know she loves me but I am super apprehensive of having any feelings towards her. I generally feel numb towards people 95% of the time now.
Monday I went to work but couldn’t even finish my shift because I was coming down so hard...went home early and took Tuesday off.
I slept from 8:30pm Monday until 2:30pn Tuesday.
It’s currently 3:50pm Tuesday and I feel the most anxious and sad I have probably ever.
I am incredibly stressed about my mental health, physical health and money.

This is getting worse and worse.
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Jun 12 2018 12:34am
Got fucked up Friday night / morning. Drove to work still belted because I needed to go in there for 5 mins. Area manager walks in and asks if I was ok? I would have smelt like partying from the night before and I can only imagine what my eyes would have looked like.

Fell asleep 12pm Saturday and stayed in bed until 6pm Sunday. Girl came and got me to have dinner. Ended up going out again Sunday night and doing drums + drinking maybe 1L of vodka. Ended up having one of the worst experiences of my life (k hole + green out). That stopped around 8am Monday morning. Went to work Monday midday feeling like death.

A delivery guy asked me today if I was ok because I looked like I’d lost a lot of weight. I’ve probably lost 5-7kg in the last 2 weeks since I’ve only been to the gym like twice.

Not good
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Jun 16 2018 05:20am
Friend invited me to go out on Thursday. Got to his and there were a few girls and a bunch of drugs. Ended up partying until 10am Friday before crashing. Didn’t get home until about 6pm, called in sick to work then fell asleep around 11pm. I didn’t wake up until midday Friday, went upstairs ate then fell asleep until 5pm again.

I went to the gym on Thursday for the first time in about 2 weeks. I weighed myself and I’ve lost 6kg.

I think I need to seek help from my parents. I’ve told them I have done drugs but told them at the start of this year I’d stopped...I’m very nervous to do so because I know how much it will upset them.
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Jun 28 2018 01:44am
Had another massive weekend. Can’t keep doing this.

My parents got home from a vacation on Wednesday and today I told them everything. I booked myself into a doctor to check my bloods etc and he will refer me to an addiction councillor.

Hopefully this is one step in the right direction.
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