I find this somewhat awkward to post but jsp has always been a place I could vent with friends and really the only place I find comfortable writing any of this down.
Firstly I'll start with a reflection of 2017 aswell as earlier years and continue on with what I plan to do with 2018. From there I may do daily, weekly, monthly or never update this again, who knows.
2017 has been a mixture of good and bad. I have done a fair amount of travelling, partying and made new friends. I bought a second house with my partner (now ex) and had other plans of travel in the future including numerous weddings to attend.
We were always perceived as the perfect couple. We never showed any signs of fighting or drama to any of our friends or family and our breakup came as a huge shock to everyone. I had thought about breaking up with her 2-3 months ago but the pressures of the second house, our family and friend groups etc was a bit too much. We had a few big fights and broke up just before Christmas (not the best of timing). Overall it was a clean breakup but we will no longer be friends. I will be paying two mortgages on my own once the second house is built (~18-24 months).
Over the past 5-6 years I have been using copious amounts of party drugs and abusing them as well as alcohol. I would say anywhere from $60,000-$80,000 has been used on "partying". The amount of nights I haven't slept, the days I have stayed in bed for literally days recovering and the toll it has probably taken on my body are indescribable. Even now typing this I have been out partying 6 out of the last 11 days. Coming down now is probably attributing to the thoughts that I need to write down.
Some things I want to do in 2018 include:-
Start a business degree to help further my career.
Continue to pay my first home mortgage and the interest on the second loan.
Get away from the party scene as much as I can if not completely.
Rekindle my love for the gym, beach and being outdoors.
Although I'm not looking for a relationship as such, I am lonely after having someone with me for basically the last 5 years (seperate girlfriends) so if that was to happen, cool.
See more of my family and either make new friends with better interests or create new interests with my existing friends.
Just be happier overall.
As I said I will try to keep this updated even if it becomes a food diary or something I appreciated throughout the day.
Ben
This post was edited by bjones9 on Jan 1 2018 09:16am