Hey so I'm in a bind and I've found my self with the lack of people to talk to this about without seeming crazy, so I've came here

I'm in a relationship with a woman who's 6 years older then me she's a great woman cooks clean etc always giving and giving. Our relationship is like one if had in the past we can insult each other fuck and just have fun but it doesn't feel the same like any of my last relationships where I seemed to care I'm just like fuck it if we split up we split up. I've had a rough time with my last few breaks ups one of them being a fiancé and another being perfect for me and then a psycho I feel like that I'm going to lose this because my emotions are not in play. Why is it that I feel like I cannot give anything towards this woman who's always giving and caring I mean yeah I feel like I care but I'm not sure if it's an act or what I don't wanna end up hurting this woman. As I've done wrong to so many in the past used em for what I wanted and that was that
So does anyone have the slightest idea on what the fuck is wrong with me like what do I feel so unable to give and care?

You've got the answers bro, no point in being in a relationship if you don't care imo. Ask yourself what you want, what you need from your partner and see if she meets the criteria.

I know kind of short response, just going to collect more details from you.

Talk to her.

What this is called is anhedonic depression. It's a severe apathy where you have a tendency to just be nonchalant about it, stemming from emotional duress. It doesn't mean you're flat out clinically depressed, but it's exactly what's going on.

First off; stop being so critical of yourself. It's good to draw a narrative and refer to the past, but it's done. Close that door. You learned lessons, and you are NOT damaged, in way, shape, or form. You simply fucked up or were fucked up.

Secondly, you NEED to communicate this with her. Sit her down, and tell her you have something you wish to share. If you dig deep and sit down one day, and talk to yourself honestly, you'll figure out what you want. Is it her? Do you need time to love yourself again? Do you really love her? Are you ok with what she does for you and don't want to lose the creature comforts? Ask yourself some hard hitting questions, and be fucking honest. I've had to sit friends down and needle them to find out they're gay, or clinically depressed, or just missing their goals, but they WERE able to be honest with me. Can you be with yourself? Because that's what's going to enable you to be honest with her.

I have no idea how long you have dated her, but it sounds like it's serious and if she's cleaning and cooking she's obviously living with you at least partially. This would categorize it into the "relatively serious". It's not fair to her, or to yourself, to sit back on your hands and do nothing. Men do. So become the man you need to be. Get up, strap your shoes on, and go for a hard run. I'm serious. When you're sweating and you don't have anything ahead of you but an open road, your mind will wander a bit. When *IT* hits you; that stunning realization of if you need her, want her, or respect her, then you can be curt with yourself and ask yourself the same.

Love is not about possession. It is about appreciation. If you cannot appreciate someone, including yourself, you will never "own" that feeling. Grasping for it is harder than anything. Trust me.

When you are honest, and you can share with her your demons, and maybe shed a tear because you love her, you can ask her what she needs from you. Because that's ultimately all this is again - you are critical of yourself and have driven yourself into an anhedonic state where you may or may not feel you have much to offer. But maybe she thinks you give her everything. And boy will she be surprised if you love her and more importantly, yourself, and that love and respect proxies into even further love and respect for her.

When you are chin up, looking good, feeling good, working good, playing good, life's gonna pay you good. When you're down, it's just a momentary lapse of reason where you grasp and straws and beat yourself up. So don't. Chin the fuck up, figure out what you want, and go for it. And TALK.

If she washes your underwear and cleans your piss stains near the toilet and has dinner on the table, you owe her that much. You'll be surprised what happens when you talk with yourself as well.

This post was edited by Anton24 on Aug 26 2017 11:57am

love doesn't exist, and your subconscious obviously knows that from experience

Men feel committed when they invest into a relationship. You don't sound invested at all. It sounds like she is doing everything