Can I get some help on how to not look like a huge idiot?

Drink and make sure it's well known you have never played before.

Be open to any advice anyone may give you. Don't lose your cool if you mess up and just have fun. Dont give anyone any expectations that you may be any good lol.

thats good advice, but i meant how to hold a gold club etc lol

Many YouTube channels that post tutorials and provide visuals.

Probably best bet there