The closest I've come was almost getting jacked.
We are bulding out house still so we have a bathroom thats right in front of the door to the garage. The garaged door (not the the car door, but an actually door) is usually always left open. I live in a really rural area with about a mile of land on each side of my house. Well I woke up and needed to to the bathroom, as I was walking about I looked at my car for a second and noticed the dome light in my car was on. I sometimes forget to turn it off...... As I started walking towards it my truck popped, I didn't know wtf was going on. Then I heard foots steps. I could tell it was only one person and he was trying to move fast. So I went back in and grabbed my of my grandfathers pipe wrentches (about a foot long and weights a good 5-10 pounds), some bigger zip ties, and called the police. and a loaded 12 gadge. I took off my slippers so he couldn't hear me coming up, went up behind him and coacked the gun. He froze. I asked him how stupid he was to be trying something like this. He didn't really say anything, just stood there with a screw drive frozen. Told him to get on the ground face first or I was going to shoot him for trespassing on private property, which I legal could. So he gets down on his stomatch with his hands behind is back. I set the shotgun down slowly and pull out the wrentch. Jumped on his back and tied him up from his hands and feet with several zip ties.
When the cop finally arrived, the thief was laying on the ground behind my truck, I was sitting on the tail gate playing some ring tones just talking to the guy. Shot gun to my side, wrench on the other. I had a rope tied to my truck and to his hand so if he managed to get up he really couldn't go anywhere.
The cop stepped out of the car and just laughed... Like really laughed. Asked me if the thief was secure... I just laughed and said yes.
So we do the whole cop routine, what happened, was anyone hurt, any damage to property. And there was... he broke my sub box trying to get the sub out. The box is mounted to my car.
Then we walked over to the guy still laying on the ground, and the coped pulled out his light and was checking him out... Blah blah, asked him his name... etc.... Turns out he had several outstanding warrents lol. So the cop puts the hand cuffs on him and asks if i had a knife to cup off the zip ties... And of course I did. I was for this fucker to try anything at this point. He get him in the cop car and the cop comes back over to me, he was really cool about the who situation.
He asked what would have happened if he would have tried to run? Told him I would have aimed for the legs. Cop just laughed and asked if I was going to press charges. Ofc I am, hope it slaps on another couple years to the peace of shit.
Moral of the story, Im ready for a zombie apocalypse. Just fucking try me.
Now It's 5 A.M and I can't go to sleep.
Anyone want to play some Halo Reach?