here's a joke you all might like
woman is married to a bussiness man, who travels often and is only home for about a month out of the year. The woman is faithfull and doesnt want to cheat so she thinks of a way to satisfy herself.
She calls her girlfriend over and talks about it with her and her girlfriend suggests they go to the secks shop. So they go to the sex shop and walk in. The woman looks around everywhere and cant find anything to satisfy her needs. Her girlfriend suggests they go to the clerk and ask for help.
They approach teh clerk and tell of their story and how they cant find anything to satisfy her in the store. the clerk says, Well let me take you back here to this room and show you two toys i have hidden. The man first pulls out a Dildo that is humongously illegal to have. and she stammers omfg no not that im sorry. so he says ok. I will show you the second toy and points to a box.
The woman says thats it a box? He says yes but watch and see!
The man says "Voodoo Dick" and the box opens and a dildo of the perfect size levetates into the air. the women eye and gaggle in amazement. He says oh but thats not all.. it will do anything you tell it to do as long as you call it by its name first. The man says "Voodoo Dick" "Keyhole" and the Dick flys over to the keyhole int eh door and begins to fuck it graciously. the woman looks at her friend and says "ill take it" so the man tels it to get back in the box. he wraps it up for her and she takes it home.
The Husband comes home for christmas and they fuck for hours and hours before he has to leave again. Months go by and the woman is happy with the sex she had with her husband so the Box stays under the bed. tehn one day about 3-4 months later the woman cant stand it anymore so she decides to try the Voodoo Dick.
She pulls the box out and unwraps it, she cautiously says "voodoo Dick" and it levetates in front of her, she's getting wet just seeing it. She says 'Voodoo Dick' "wet Pussy'
and the Dildo starts to Fuck her immensively and she loves it, it hits every spot immaginable that she can stand and starts to get better. She gets slammed for hours and cums and cums untill she is exhausted. She finally is on the verge of passing out and she cant talk because of the continuous Screaming and she starts to FREAK OUT! she trys to yell "STOP" "STOP" but the dick continues to crush her pu$$y and she is losing energy.
She then decides its time to go to the emergeny room and have teh Dildo removed anyway possible. So she throws on clothes and runs to her car, jumps in and begins to barrel down the interstate, speeding, hoping to get there before its too late. She swerves traffic and goes lane to lane as she orgasms even more than before. She gets almost to the hospital and a cop pulls her over!
The cop says excuse me ma'm is there a reason you are speeding and weaving in and out of traffic? And she tries to scream "YES OFFICER THERE IS A REASON" and he says "what might that be?" She says its this Dildo it wont stop fucking me, and the cop looks puzzled and confused. He says with a sarcastic voice, "DILDO"? She says "YES" "its this Voodoo Dick!"
The cop is almost furious now, and says to her with a loud voice, "VOODOO DICK my ASS!"
what u all think
This post was edited by SilentSwordMaster on Jun 20 2008 06:12pm