Quote (mynameismethos @ Feb 15 2018 09:37am)
You are absolutely right, at the point i called him i was so fucking depressed, + the fact that he lives 2 hours away, i didnt feel the importance of actually telling it in person... Obviously it has its consequences too, because after every word i felt like puking (on the phone) so i cut it really short (the other reason is that i didnt want to seem like i want to blame everything on the girl and it would have been the case if i told him everything)... So at this point (like 2 hours ago) he told me he needs time but i got angry and answered i HAVE to tell him everything and i have to do it in person even if he bashes my face in, i just need 3 mins then id be off and give all the time he wants. Well to this message he didnt answer so after i calmed down i told him im gonna wait until hes ready to know all of it and its up to him..
IN THE FUCKING MEANTIME THOUGH remember when i got angry? Well thats when i messaged the chick asking if they are still together and she said she was told to move out for a week... But the way she sees it, she clearly doesnt understand the weight of this all, eiher shes lying to herself and everyone about it (she was legit doing whory shit to me on purpose, or like stuff you can do to a guy WHEN YOU DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY HES NOT THE GUYS BEST FRIEND) or is just so fucked up in the brain she doesnt notice it... Now i obviously regret starting to talk to her coz now she suspects (rightfully so) what im gonna say will hurt her a whole fucking lot. But i dont give a fuck, the truth is the truth. My intention isnt to hurt her, its just to be finally fair after i had to be such a shitstained maggot that night. All my friend knows is that we got drunk and made out.... In the meantime she told him shit like "we dont have feelings for each other, it just happened" well NO FUCKING SHIT we dont, i was just a weak piece of shit and let myself be seduced.
You fucked up. People fuck up. Shit happens. Move on from it. Wash away the pain with the liberating truth. I'd give him as much time as he needs to come to you. Just tell him straight up, and then say, "When you're ready to talk, if you ever are, I'll be right here. I'm sorry."
As for the girl? Hard pass.
You'll stop feeling like shit after awhile. And don't beat yourself up. You didn't fuck her. You were weak in a momentary lapse of judgment, but you didn't cross the line of never go back.