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Mar 2 2018 12:52pm
Context: I have been working on setting up home theater sound the past couple days.

Had a dream where Trump went back in time to sabotage the invention of 5.1 surround sound so that he could claim he invented it himself in the future. To do this, Trump went back in time and ransacked the laboratory where scientists were developing 5.1 surround sound theater equipment, and then returned to the future with boxes of surround sound receivers. The result was that the future became a ruined dystopian setting (kind of like a mixture of Fahrenheit 451 and Mad Max) where the privileged few had access to 5.1 surround sound (among other amenities) while the have-nots had to scrounge for supplies and cobble together whatever parts they could to assemble makeshift 5.1 surround sound systems which were inherently inferior and of low quality. I remember messing with some cheap speaker wire to wire up a shitty surround sound system at one point.
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Mar 4 2018 02:42pm
Had a dream where I was at someone's house (some friend of Chris's whom I didn't really know). I was just sitting at the table listening politely when Chris tossed me a pistol that belonged to the owner. It was all decked out in accessories like some absurd COD or CSGO pistol. I assumed it was empty, otherwise Chris wouldn't have handed it to me to look at. I lined it up at the guy's TV to pretend fire at whatever was on TV, just to see how the trigger felt. Apparently it also was an automatic pistol with a full magazine racked and ready to fire, as three rounds went off in succession rather quickly right into the guy's TV.

I immediately expressed my apologies profusely. I said that I had no idea it was loaded, and I offered to buy him a new TV and pay for any damages. At this point, I realized the owner of the house was Sheldon (sp) from that show The Big Bang Theory (which I never watch). My apologies weren't good enough for him apparently, so other forms of punishment were considered on the spot. I can't remember all of what was discussed, but among the options was that I had to offer my body to the dude for gay sex (I assume that actor is gay irl).

I can't remember if a punishment was actually decided. It didn't really matter because then Sheldon's roommate entered the room where we were. She was the "Supernova" character from "The Vindicators" episode of Rick and Morty ( http://rickandmorty.wikia.com/wiki/The_Vindicators ). Apparently I had killed her friend when I fired at the TV. So now an even greater punishment had to be decided upon. Many options were considered (again, can't remember them all), among them that I would spend eternity trapped in some realm/dimension where all that existed was my mind, so I would spend eternity trapped someplace with only my thoughts and no senses. This sounded horrible, and they were really close to picking this one until they asked me what punishment I wanted. Since the impending option sounded just awful, and I had to actually suggest something they might consider accepting, I suggested that they just kill me immediately and grant everyone in the room a 1000 year extension onto their lives. After some discussion, this was accepted, and so I blacked out immediately (died) and presumably everyone else got to live for another 1000 years.

Then I woke up what seemed like a short time later, although it was actually like 950 years later: apparently I had been cryogenically frozen after I died. The world was kind of like the Dark Heresy setting. My friends (Chris, Zach, and others) had installed some futuristic mechanical device on the back of my neck which made me come back to life again, which was pretty cool. The downside was that they only had like 46 more years to live, which paled in comparison to how long I was going to now live, which made me kind of sad.
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Mar 12 2018 02:28am
Had a dream where I shocked everyone (including myself) by accepting an invitation to participate in some amateur wrestling. I won one match against a guy throwing the fight, and then threw the next fight myself. Then later in that same dream I met some girl I liked, but I didn't know how to talk to her, so Chris gave me some advice by showing me his favorite pizza place. He didn't want to go inside though, so we didn't actually eat.

Also, had a dream where I was a kid again. I was at some summer camp, but the camp was run by the old daycare personnel (Mrs. Cherry, Mr. Jeff, and their kids). There was some kind of small pond nearby where you could summon a demon from the underworld if you had the right reagents to toss into the pond. So I went to gather the necessary reagents: a crystal from a stream/creek/river was the first one, which I found easily enough. The next one was a live fish, so I went to the pond by my house and netted a fish. I jammed its mouth onto a stick and started walking up the hill to the house. Then I tripped (the demon's doing, I reasoned, since he probably didn't want to be summoned). The fish slid somewhere under a piece of furniture, and I didn't see it anywhere and didn't feel like looking really hard for it, so I just said fuck it and woke up instead.

Also, had a dream where I was back working at Honda again. Malagar was selling some Del Sol that was obviously a lemon, but Dorian challenged Malagar that he could get it running again, so he bought it for $11. Dorian hammered together a replacement wheel out of aluminum foil and mounted a tire on it somehow--people were afraid to get near it because it was likely to explode. That was fine and all, but it didn't address the more serious problems with the steering and suspension being totally off due to slamming into a curb and bending several parts. I said hi to some of the other guys I used to work with, and then I went out to find my car and leave--only my car was gone. I had been carjacked since my car (a 90s Accord) had a coveted engine in it (which makes no sense since no Accord has an engine worth stealing). I eventually found it down the street at a Midas shop with the engine halfway out. No one was there, so I camped out to make sure the car wasn't further parted out by whoever stole it. Only problem was that I needed help (to call the police or a tow truck or something), but if I left to call someone, I'd have to leave my car vulnerable for more vandalism. Then I looked at the interior and the seats were stained and torn, and someone stapled shag carpeting as headliner, and all of the interior was a putrid shade of blue from like a typical 70s/80s interior color.
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Mar 27 2018 01:46am
Had a dream where I was Beowulf. There was some kind of epic battle going on in the yard outside my house against an army of goblins (goblins were rendered like the goblins in ES: Oblivion).

One of the trolls dropped an item (it popped out like an item drop in D2), and it was this large spherical metal treasure chest like 5 feet in diameter. I immediately dived on the sphere so that I could get the item drop before anyone else (several other teammates tried to dive on it too, but I got to it first). I opened the treasure sphere, and then I immediately realized it was actually a bomb that would explode a few seconds after opening. I didn't inform my comrades; I just ran and dove away from it as quickly as I could. My allies in the immediate vicinity were ripped to pieces by shrapnel while I suffered a lot of shrapnel hitting my lower back, which was really painful.

I was out for the count at this point, so I crawled myself up to the garage where the medical camp was located. They were so busy that I didn't really receive any treatment. During nightfall, I realized that my allies might need me (because I'm fucking Beowulf), so I willed myself to march down and follow my allies into the battle that still raged. I got to where everyone was fighting: it was an old wooden sea port where ships would dock. Everyone was fighting off a giant kraken. I helped by lopping off some tentacles. Then this fucking wizard emerged out of the water and started shooting thunderbolts at everyone and killing tons of allies, so I gave him a powerful swing with my short sword and he wound up on the roof of an old building. I thought he was dead, but then the sound of thunderous bolts killing more allies proved otherwise, so I adroitly made my way up onto the roof Assassin's Creed style. We had an epic rooftop battle, where he parried my blows with his staff, I dodged his thunderbolts, and I eventually cleaved into his abdomen through his thin cloth armor and killed him, doing all of this with like 1 HP due to my earlier shrapnel wound.
Member
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Apr 9 2018 11:38pm
Had a dream where we (me, chris, zach, brandon) were all pokemon, and we were battling against each other. One of you was an aquatic pokemon, like a blue whale or something, and I was a purple knight. Whoever it was, they were complaining about my shield being too OP (sounds Chris "you're playing that pokemon?"). Think I won though, was ez.

Also, I had a dream last night where I was working in a Best Buy along the Eastern Shore selling laptops. Some of the laptops were comically large. Like there was this Asus gaming laptop that had like a 40" screen, and a tablet of similar size. Also, upon looking more closely at the laptops we were selling, I realized they were just made of cardboard, meant to look like laptops. Later, I poured windshield washer fluid all over the floor because it was dirty and the blue liquid looked really cool. My manager got mad at me for pouring it everywhere and told me to clean it up. Then, to end the dream, the power went out all across the grid. The power was out for weeks. People were still using the bathrooms, but they couldn't flush them, so the poop and pee just built up and overflowed, causing disease to spread.
Member
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May 10 2018 01:05pm
Been a while.

Dream where I fell out of my chair and my legs bent inwards at the knee, like a flamingo. It was much less painful than it should have been.

Dream where Brandon and I went to visit Chris and Trish's new house, which was like an antique but renovated mansion. It was planned that we would spend the night. However, Brandon and I didn't get our own rooms to spend the night. Instead, we had to sleep on the hardwood floor in the living room area and share a blanket. It was a really nice place though. Later chased a stranger on a minibike and got to see the landscape, which consisted of a lush NE landscape and beautiful ocean bluffs.

Had dream where I was working at a public high school, but it wasn't just a school. There was a creepy, evil teacher who had a secret annex of the building where he would keep drugged female students as sex slaves. The teenage girls (a dozen or so) were each kept on separate beds in one medium-large room. The room and its mattresses were icky, like something out the Saw or Silent Hill setting. The girls on the mattresses were kept on a steady stream of some drug that kept them in a weak dream-like state from which they couldn't wake up (like being strung-out of heroin). The evil teacher would rape the students himself, but he also had secret customers, presumably other male teachers at the school. After a girl was dead or too used up, they would then go to the cafeteria as meat for school lunch.

Had a dream where Chris, Brandon, Zach, and I were all going to summer camp as kids (like that YMCA camp Chris and I went to). Zach was the fat kid among us and not me. We were all excitedly heading over to go swimming in the pool, but it was really scummy like a pond, which instantly dampened our spirits. We all went in anyway, since no one was vocal enough to raise issue, but we didn't really have any fun. We all just stood there in the waste-deep water making sure not to move too much so we didn't get murky, scummy pool water all over us.

Had a dream where I was up on a mountain resort skiing and snowboarding. People were driving their everyday cars up the snowy mountain, like a BMW sedan just driving through waist-deep snow as if it was nothing. There was some sort of extreme snowboarding/skiing event that I participated in, and people were making fun of me for not being very good. Later I was taking in the scenery of the forest, overlooking it all from the top of the mountain, and I was moved to tears. Then, while I was in tears, I noticed some fucking frenchman attacking a grouse's nest and stealing its eggs. We did combat in the snow, and I eventually killed him by hitting him upside the head with the wooden ladder he brought with him. Then, to try and save the egg babies, I put the eggs under our sleeping cat (Grabey) to see if they would hatch, but the dream ended too soon.

This post was edited by Terps on May 10 2018 01:17pm
Member
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May 23 2018 01:57pm
Lots of dreams last night.

Had a dream where I was at some redneck relative/friend's house, and he had a ton of wooded land. A bunch of people including myself agreed to help him clear out some old junk that had been lying around in his yard and help him organize what's valuable so that he can sell it. When I got there, he lived in a shoddy, small little cabin, and directly behind the cabin was a very long, steep forested cliff about 100 ft deep. The entire side of the cliff was just piled almost to the top with trash--old washing machines, mildewed clothing, children's toys, old cars, you name it. As soon as I understood the magnitude of the project, I flipped out at everyone because this was going to take months to clear entirely (not one day like we'd been told), but everyone brushed off what I was saying as if I was being weird.

Nevertheless, I began to help clear some of the trash, which was actually pretty dangerous because the land was not stable, and you had to kind of walk on top of old layers of trash to clear the topmost layer. Like I had to position myself awkwardly atop an old dryer that was shakily positioned atop old garbage to help lift out a pile of soggy, mildewed stuffed animals. One slip and I would have fallen down the trash cliff and been seriously injured.

At a later point, I had found a pile of old, grimy, dried-out crayola markers, which I was just going to throw away, but the redneck was like "WHOAH, don't throw those away! They still have value!" I was startled by the authority in his voice, so I quickly set aside the markers in the "to keep" pile, which was growing ever-larger. I began to realize that the to-keep pile was outpacing the throwaway pile at such a rate that we were basically just moving the trash pile up the hill. There was no way he was going to sell or reuse all of this.

Also, near the end of the day, I realized that this guy somehow had my childhood stuffed animal, Mr. Raccoon, among his pile of trash (a real stuffed animal btw. I still have it; it was made by my grandma). I was taken aback: this redneck somehow not only stole a cherished childhood stuffed animal that belonged to me, but then he felt so little of its value that he threw it in his trash pile. I took back my stuffed animal, and then I left angrily.

--

Some time later in that same sleep cycle, I was in some kind of dystopian future similar to Mad Max or maybe Dark Heresy (if we're on a dry, dusty planet). The world was at war: men vs. women. Everyone was dressed in the usual ramshackle battle attire that you'd see in a Mad Max movie.

I had betrayed my own sex, apparently, because I was fighting alongside a faction of women for some reason. I was dressed essentially like Mad Max, except I was wielding a large plasma rifle of some sort (like Dark Heresy). We were in this little fort cobbled together from various old debris when suddenly a faction of men began to try and raid our fort and kill everyone. The women took action and went into melee. I stood back from a distance and began shooting the men. As I shot intruders, I realized the power of my rifle: it would transform men into women. The "me" in my dream already knew this, but the "me" outside of the dream found it pretty surprising and interesting. Anyway, as men were hit, they would transform into women, looking reminiscent to their former selves, but immediately growing boobs and long hair, donning a simple tattered dress appropriate for the dystopia, and presumably growing a vagina and losing their penis (I didn't check). In addition, they were immediately pacified, transitioning from a state of fervid rage to a state of solemn malaise. The men immediately discarded their weapons and gave up the fight upon being transformed into women, as if they had given up on life itself.

--

A long time later (it might have been a different dream altogether), I had abandoned the fort full of women. I went to infiltrate this massive, high-tech compound surrounded by guards. The compound was in a winter setting a lot like that one compound in Inception. I started off by noob-tubing these four guys (two guardsmen and two scientists) positioned on a lookout atop the facade of the compound. I killed all four of them with two quick shots, and I was really proud of myself for doing so (usually my k/d ratio is in the decimals lol). I went to loot their bodies of anything useful--ammo and whatnot--when I realized that I could steal the scientists' card keys and uniforms and infiltrate the compound using deception (which was unrealistic, since not only would there be more guards responding to an attack, but the scientists' uniforms would have been blown to shit. Also, why were there scientists outside guarding the compound?). Nevertheless, I donned a scientist's uniform and began the infiltration. Inside the compound were these super mutants, kind of like Fallout or Resident Evil, and they were massive and gross and scary. But idk what happened after that because I woke up.
Member
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Gold: 79,366.46
May 31 2018 11:10pm
Had a dream where I had a humongous vagina. Like without even spreading my labia, there was this volleyball-sized crater in between my legs. Then, after getting a flashlight so I could look in there really good, I saw that my cervix was about as wide as a fresh tube of toothpaste and about as deep.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jun 1 2018 09:14pm
Had a dream where...

ah fuck it, it's too convoluted to describe in detail

tldr: It was the 1990s. These two guys who were in a HS band together got mad at each other for some reason. One killed the other, wrote a dis-track about the dead guy, and then tried to kill the rest of victim's family afterwards. Then I helped get revenge on the murderer by commandeering an ornamental pirate ship and sailing it to some place where there was treasure. Among the treasure were some ancient tinctures that would poison the bad guy.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jun 2 2018 03:50pm
Had a dream where I a kid again, and I was jerking off and producing SO MUCH CUM. Like, I was in the shower jerking off, and the shower wall looked like the side of a giant candle. And it just kept coming (pun intended); like I must have jerked off like a dozen times or so in my dream, and cum was just pouring out like a slow-moving faucet. My dad knocked on the door to ask if I was okay and I think I said I was fine as I reached for a towel to clean it all us so guests wouldn't notice.
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