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Nov 19 2017 03:27pm
Okay so not long ago I posted about how my ex and I broke up. At the time is was a couple months after so its been about 4-5 months.

I grieved over it, the reasons for breakup were just as simple as we weren't right for each other, she wasn't happy, etc.
Anyway.

So about 5 months now, I am completely over the situation. It was honestly as simple as realizing I didn't love her, past a friendship level. We started as best friends in about 7th grade. Started dating freshman year for the next 3 years. Broke up shortly after I graduated. It was just one of those relationships that shouldn't of happened; but it did because we were in high school and evidently wanted to date.

So there is the background for that.

My current girlfriend, who I just started seeing about a month ago and just recently officially started dating, get's worried or over thinks really little things...
She is great. She is very mature(except the few occasions where she does things like this), she is sweet, she is very caring, pretty, etc. I actually think I am in love with this one; but that's a different discussion.

But, she keeps bringing up my ex. Mostly comparisons or getting upset over silly things... Like, she will be like "I saw a tweet from like 2 years ago about Madeline, I'm just wondering how you dated her for 3 years and could tweet about her and I just want to make sure you don't love her". She does these types of things
The most recent, last night she was like "does Madeline ever text you" So I told her honestly, she has texted me once.
I got a job at TSA security for the Airport, she basically just texted me saying congratulations and that she was happy for me. She got upset over this, wondering why she would text me to congratulate me, etc.

I have reaffirmed her over and over, I have no feelings for Madeline.
Abby(Current girlfriend) is great, she has already started her career; she's a hair stylist. We have a good, mature relationship and everything is great. Then randomly she pulls things like this and gets upset.

I guess the concern is, how do I get her to move on from this? Is there anything I can say to get her off this. I have reassured her 10000 times that I have no feelings for my ex, I don't want to get back with my ex, etc.
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Nov 19 2017 03:33pm
Maybe you should ask her what you can do to make her feel more comfortable about it. Maybe you could just flat out tell her it’s getting kind of annoying how she brings up your ex. Or wait it out maybe she will stop after a while. It’s a new relationship and you weren’t broken up from your ex that long considering y’all dated 3 years
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Nov 19 2017 03:36pm
Quote (AllisonWonderland @ Nov 19 2017 02:33pm)
Maybe you should ask her what you can do to make her feel more comfortable about it. Maybe you could just flat out tell her it’s getting kind of annoying how she brings up your ex. Or wait it out maybe she will stop after a while. It’s a new relationship and you weren’t broken up from your ex that long considering y’all dated 3 years


I have reassured her on everything. She has even thanked me multiple times for being patient with her. I honestly am a pretty patient person. Especially given her relationship past, which isn't great, I do understand all the concerns.

I also did tell her I understand it hasn't been that long, but my relationship with Madeline (as me and her both discussed) had been over for the better part of a year, when we broke up and stupidly got back together.

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Nov 19 2017 05:42pm
Quote (AllisonWonderland @ Nov 19 2017 04:33pm)
Maybe you should ask her what you can do to make her feel more comfortable about it. Maybe you could just flat out tell her it’s getting kind of annoying how she brings up your ex. Or wait it out maybe she will stop after a while. It’s a new relationship and you weren’t broken up from your ex that long considering y’all dated 3 years


this
It sounds like she's a bit insecure. Maybe some of your actions make it seem as though you aren't entirely over your ex. Sometimes it's easy to feel over something but that person is definitely still a part of you.
Anyway, bring it up to her. Tell her it concerns you that she is worried about your ex and see if you can find a way to resolve the situation.

Don't push the ball in her court either, be direct and address exactly what you are thinking and ask exactly what you are wondering.
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Nov 19 2017 05:48pm
Quote (ringo794 @ Nov 19 2017 04:42pm)
this
It sounds like she's a bit insecure. Maybe some of your actions make it seem as though you aren't entirely over your ex. Sometimes it's easy to feel over something but that person is definitely still a part of you.
Anyway, bring it up to her. Tell her it concerns you that she is worried about your ex and see if you can find a way to resolve the situation.

Don't push the ball in her court either, be direct and address exactly what you are thinking and ask exactly what you are wondering.


I dont think this is it. I say this based off what she says. She says that I've been great and she believes I'm over her, and that her thoughts are pretty much just over thinking.

She will just look at things like old tweets/ asking random questions that make her upset/ her own thoughts. I believe she is slightly insecure, she had an ex that had broke up with his girlfriend, and went back to her after a few months of them dating. So I know thats why she is being like this

I just was curious if someone has advice on how to get her to refrain from bringing it up like twice a week... Lol
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Nov 21 2017 03:10am
no1 is perfect maybe you need to also look at your own flaws and be like we are both dogshit in some ways but acceptance is key
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Nov 21 2017 09:23am
Quote (bakalolo @ Nov 21 2017 02:10am)
no1 is perfect maybe you need to also look at your own flaws and be like we are both dogshit in some ways but acceptance is key


10/10 makes no sense. Please don't post on this topic! :)
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Nov 22 2017 09:34am
How can I get a gf ?


Also on op. Show her the reigns, . You just started dating. If she becomes obsessive or over jeaulos let her know you can do without her just as fine.
Don't let her set the pace all the time.
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Nov 24 2017 10:11pm
just be honest and transparent. typical insecurity stuff. only time can fix it. assuming she's still young. 22-24ish? just be her rock. if you honestly care/love the girl that's all you can do. be there, be strong, be reliable. unwaivering. treat her well, tell her she's pretty, always pretend like shes the most beautiful girl in the room. even if it isnt necesarily the case. chances are it wont last forever. its human nature to grow bored with what we have. even if we have the world. best of luck in your endeavors.

p.s if she isnt into butt stuff she's not the one.

This post was edited by donchonalucci on Nov 24 2017 10:12pm
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Nov 25 2017 10:51am
Quote (donchonalucci @ Nov 24 2017 10:11pm)
p.s if she isnt into butt stuff she's not the one.


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