Only german people could tell you because if it is true then dont push it. Show affection without seeming needy but too friendly.

Imo once its a cultural thing then its a different game.

This post was edited by UkrainianProtein on Nov 3 2017 09:07pm

I disagree. I never said OP can't be himself, there are subtle twinks and adjustments a person can do to improve themselves and avoid the natural turnoffs that women experience.

Over pursuit, and trying to force things are one of them.

I wouldnt. The thing is, at this point, she isn't interested. The mistake you're making is you think you have to do something to rectify your situation. It's the illusion of action.

In reality, when someone stops caring, you stop.
You need to go to the people that share mutual interest with you. When women like you, they will help you and make it easy, literally all you have to do is walk through doors.

When they don't like you, they shut the door on your face. And right now you're asking whether to knock or not.

Dont. If anything, just speak your truth "listen, I would easy like to continue with things, I always enjoyed the time we spent, let me know if you ever change your mind" then just hard move on.

Sometimes women will come back from this. And if they don't, well, there was nothing you could do regardless.

Attraction isn't really a choice. If she has interest, eventually she will reach out again.

It's happened to me before. It's actually attractive for a person to be willing to walk away from those who no longer value or pursue them. Its a declaration of self respect.
It's you saying "I'm not wanted here, so I must find where I am wanted" and that takes strength

This post was edited by GLYC123 on Nov 4 2017 02:35am

Unfortunate to hear for anyone in the situation, but this is the truth of it

Especially since you've already expressed how difficult it would be for you to be just friends with her

This post was edited by PurpleBuds on Nov 4 2017 09:58am

Don't change the way you act but date other people more seriously

drop the ho

Sounds like a classic case of being friend zoned, regardless of what is going on with her . It's time for you to move on and focus on what's important to you.

From what you described, she sounded much more interested in you at first, likely because you were being more yourself and not thinking of relationships. Now, it sounds like you are chasing after your own relationship fantasy and imposing this onto another person which doesn't result in a healthy relationship.

Best advice...
=> Focus on yourself, do things you enjoy, and get out of your comfort zone so you have a variety of experiences and perspective to share when meeting new people.
=> Don't ever change yourself for another person. They should love you and all the wonderful idiosyncrasies you have.
=> Don't wait, operate on your own time.
=> Don't try to force a relationship, that is the best way to ruin it.
=> Don't be afraid to be a dick once in awhile. If she 'cares' and you are a dick to her, it will bug the hell out of her and she will want to make things right. Or, you will have to chum up and apologize. This also shows you have a full spectrum of emotions.


Also, find a way to get your mind off this lady, you're stuck in a loop. If you have traveled Europe, you would realize there are beautiful women beyond counting.

This post was edited by RedFromWinter on Nov 11 2017 01:57am

Let me preface this with from what you have said, this german girl seems pretty mature. She just got out of a five-year relationship and she doesn't want to jump back into one. Any rational person can understand this. It would be different though if she is seeing other people. Then I would end any contact with her because her motive for not continuing with you is tarnished. She from what it sounds, needs a break, from everything relationship related. It also sounds like she likes you, but right now she just doesn't want anything more. Your job is to respect this at this time. AGAIN if she is seeing other people though she is trying to let you down easy. If this is the case, you wouldn't want to be with her anyway.

How do I act around this girl now if I still want to date her? I have heard lots of opinions on when girls want to be friends, but I want to know what you guys think.


The question shouldn't be how do I act around her if I still want to date her. It should be how do I act around her now. This is due to it being obvious that you would still like to further this relationship, but she has already expressed her desire to put it on hold. You need to respect this, even though it is hard. Do not wait for her, because that may lead to heartbreak if she never ends up wanting to continue this relationship. You just need to act as you always did around her before all of this occurred. Indifference is sexy. Neediness is gross. I understand the difficulty in doing this, but you will be happier down the road if you act indifferent. I promise you.

Should I distance myself from her and pretend to not be interested?

Distance yourself if it will help, but don't be cold. Don't act uninterested. She know's you are. Again I would act indifferent about the whole situation that transpired. Pettiness (false in-interest) will just turn her off more. Indifference though, it allows for you to continue on being you, respecting her wishes, and maybe sway her to see how mature you are.

Should I talk to other girls around her to make her jealous?

To be frank, absolutely fucking not. This is co-dependent, and passive aggressive. This is so unattractive, petty, and childish. Men don't engage in this behaviour. Boys do.

Should I continue to try and flirt with her and do things with her?


Nope. Read above.

Do you think she is being honest about dating in the future? Or is she just letting me down easy like girls tend to do?

Refer again to above. Only time will tell this.

What is my best option if I really want to date this girl? Any advice or opinions are welcome.

Indifference, and respecting what she has asked of you.

girls dont like anime nerds, she must be a piggy.