Quote (James84 @ Sep 30 2017 01:57am)
High school drama/emo phase, she's going through IMHO. it will pass.
But I'll ofc go more into depth with all this ;)
You shouldn't have given up that GCU for basketball. You seem to be of sound mind, therefore I think you could've made it work, until she finished school and moved closer to you. (as for her to be willing to make it work long distance... would not have been easy)
I found it funny that, the coach/father figure, and the school teachers, asked you to talk to her. Is there no in school counselor? They could've called her and asked her to just come and talk, privately, without involving others. That should've been the correct course to approach her. She has to feel safe to share her emotions to someone other than the people around her.
Getting angry about lost family members is only normal. But you need to accept it, and think of the good times. As long as you think negatively about it, you wont be able to benefit from the positives part of it all, which is terrible...
No one should get mad while remembering a death, they should cherish the memory of the time they had together, not the time lost.
It's been years. The more you choose to remember the pain of not having a father, like most of the people around you (which you shouldn't even care, you are you) the more you insult the life he lived with you.
Back to her, lol. (need to keep such conversation funny, mellow it out, shit gets deep sometimes, hard to swallow for some)
Anywho, like people said, she's young. She needs to find HERSELF. And to do so, usually means getting out and living life, solo. You can't tell her, teach her everything, they have to live<experience<learn it for themselves, no matter what it is. This is something alot of ppl have a hard time comprehending. You can help and advise all you want, but they themselves have to live it.
You can talk to her, that's about all. Explain yourself, tell her to seek guidance elsewhere (wont be easy to accept at 17), tell her you'll be there for her if she needs it, as a friend. Give her space to find herself.
Which means, if she agrees, you move on with your life.
Try returning that ring, or find out how long time you have to return it, you never know after 1 heart to heart talk, she might get better.
In conclusion, there's much more we can get into, but we are all giving opinion with what you've told us.
All I've said is in my opinion. Some words might be harsh, depending on how you look at them, but needed to be said.
Best of luck! :D
e - typos
I appreciate what you have said. I don't find it harsh, because I already know its true. As for my father, I know this. Yet I still get upset. I don't always think of the negatives either. Like on of our big things was me my cousin josh(who lived with us) and my dad would all 1v1v1 in Empire Earth. I still play it to the day just because its such a good memory and it makes me happy. I play probably a couple times a week!
As for Madeline, I understand she needs to kind of find herself. I guess why I'm a little confused by it, is why it has to be solo? Why we couldn't grow together you know? But I do understand what you mean.
Quote (Kath @ Sep 30 2017 09:47am)
I went through something very similar.
I was with my boyfriend for 4 years (high school sweethearts)
and then I panicked i didnt know what to do, we graduated highschool, i didnt know who i was, or anything like that, almost the exact same shit, i felt depressed, and lonely, and unhappy, and you know what we even did go engagement ring shopping.
Personally, what I needed was, I needed something so extreme to happen to me and to him, to create a shock.
and honestly, it was a gamble but it worked,
we were broken up for about 2 weeks, and in that 2 weeks, he was begging for me, I saw a different side of him, and I saw a different sidde of my self. Graned 2 weeks was a very short time, but it was also the only time we have ever actually broken up. so it had felt like a month tbh.
anyways, going down the line, if you show her effort, I believe she will come back to you.
I know it sounds cliche, but it is cliche for a reason, buy her flowers every friday, or every 3 days, show her litle tokens of affection. Don't be annoying with it , just drop it off at her house, or something then go away. Show her love from a distance, dont smother her in it, or you may scare her off.
what ended up happening for me was, 2 months later we got engaged,
and now we have been almost 8 years strong.
Thank you Kath! It means a lot to me! I love your story! I am happy that it worked out for you! It does give me some hope in this situation. I did explain to her also, I am here to help her if you want. Me and my girlfriend were also BEST friends before we started dating I should add. We were doing everything together for 2 years before we started dating. We were together everyday of the week when we were friends. And it was great, we got along so good. So I recommended that we should try being friends again, and just completely restarting? It sounds like a good idea to me. I don't know if it is, and a second or third opinion would be nice.
Oh and James84, I do wish I had went to GCU now believe me. I have considered practicing for a bit, and trying to walk on at SOU next year. I just have hardly played in months. I know you don't really lose it, but it makes me nervous. I turned down a D1 opportunity.