It took me awhile to think of a way to word this, but you have one father. Some, some would kill for the chance to just have one last chance, one last talk, one phone call to say I love you or ask for advice.
If there is one thing we can be assured of, it is that we are fatal, and flawed. Some men commit such egregious atrocities and unspeakable lies that we cannot help but disassociate and move on.
Is this something you can do? I guarantee you no matter what, from EVERYTHING I've deduced and read, that your father loves you unconditionally and without regard for much else, including your feelings. He's always going to be your captain and your sire.
He would respect your need to distance, your right to privacy, your hunger to explore your own world, and your sincere reliance on his wallet, his wisdom, and his very life, whether it be his marriage or relationship to work or anything. He would take the logical step as all men of the Orient do, and would make you sincerely tread upon his experience and domain with a firm resolve and stoic demeanor.
Or, one can hope.
You have got to at some point realize that he is no more a man than you are, and that when you give him respect, and talk to him as such, he will in his own way, do unto you the same.
You may not see it now, but as Gandalf says to Frodo, "do not be quick to hand out judgment" or something in that fashion. You cannot see all ends and neither can he. Stand up to him, but be confident and sincere about it.
I, for one, on a subjective level of empathy, would always work for my dad given the opportunity. That man has taught me more than any library full of tree leaves and any breath someone of any educated background could ever hope to mutter. I revere that man, and dread the day when I cannot rely on him. It will be crushing.
And the only thing I'll have left is what he's done for me, painted in lessons I carry on as opinion, scars upon my body, and a clear conscience.
Can you do the same? Can you be the man your father yearns for you to be? I'm not so high-brow that I look down on any person. But I aspire to be a man my dad can trust and shake hands with. Any man over 40 had earned that respect, even when they commit those egregious errors. Lessons taught and absorbed. That's all we can do unto the men we uncontrollably release into this world.
Be bold my friend. Be bold and be proud.