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#21
Mar 22 2017 12:28pm
Quote (Fej @ Mar 22 2017 01:10pm)
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it



i enjoyed reading that in his voice
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#22
Mar 22 2017 05:08pm
i liked this one alot:

I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five'? Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, i kind of lost track myself. But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk?

-Dirty Harry
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#23
Mar 22 2017 05:50pm
You guys have put up some pretty damn good ones. Couple random ones.

Billy Madison

Principal: At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine.

Happy Gilmore

@ Bob Barker - The price is wrong, bitch.

Equilibrium

But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. I assume you dream, Preston.

Reservoir Dogs

Blonde: Hey Joe, you want me to shoot this guy?
White: [laughs] Shit... You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

Pulp Fiction

Esma: What is your name?
Butch: Butch.
Esma: What does it mean?
Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.


Sooooo fucking many good quotes, just a couple that came to me first.

This post was edited by jadeoshbogosh on Mar 22 2017 05:51pm
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#24
Mar 22 2017 07:14pm
Quote (Fej @ Mar 22 2017 08:10am)
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it


dr evil lmao
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#25
Apr 8 2017 03:20am
"Not quite my tempo"
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#26
Apr 8 2017 04:42am
Quote (Woodstack @ Apr 8 2017 10:20am)
"Not quite my tempo"


:D

Yeah!
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#27
Apr 8 2017 05:00am
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#28
Apr 8 2017 06:17am
Quote (FroggyG @ 8 Apr 2017 07:00)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4yLPF5sM0A


Nice one
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#29
Apr 8 2017 06:26am
"I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day, the rookie got naked. And we also used blanks. You're a sick motherfucker, Mac. "
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#30
Apr 8 2017 07:08pm
"Look at you, you ugly bitch of a morning." - Michael Caine from The Last Witch Hunter

I can't find a youtube clip but it's hilarious



This post was edited by FroggyG on Apr 8 2017 07:09pm
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