Quote (Kundrumb @ 15 Dec 2016 13:50)
A BOOB, a VAGINA and an ASSHOLE are debating as to who is the greatest of them all
BOOB: I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest
VAGINA: that's nothing. I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I'm the greatest
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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to speak!
#1
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy.
"Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning.
"Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one.
She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!".
So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in!
"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't", says the guy.
The girl looks at him and says,
"See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
#2
Three guys go to a ski lodge.
There aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"
The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.
Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
#3
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Number 3 lololololil