So I've been with my girlfriend for a year and 4 months. I'm 24, she's 21. It's a great relationship, the only problem is we don't have sex.

We tried to the other night, she got KY Jelly herself without even asking me. As it was about to go in, she said stop then went in the bathroom and cried for like 15 minutes. She told me today she just doesn't want to have sex ever.

I think she's just afraid, but she just tells me she just doesn't want to do it. Also today she said go find another pussy. Those exact words

"Just as long as it's just sex and not feelings"

Is this a test? Or is she being honest?

Do I do it or say no and not have sex? ..Because sex is kind of important...I haven't had sex in over 2 years...Soooo...

And no don't call me an asshole for wanting sex. I never bring it up to her and have been extremely patient with her. It's not like I constantly ask for it or anything.

Please help me. Give advice

First, you need to just sit down and have an adult conversation with her to find out why she doesn't want to have sex.
Is she religious and it would go against her beliefs?
Was she sexually assaulted as a child and that's why?
There's obviously something emotional going on there. The fact that she has to buy KY jelly to even attempt sex suggests she has no interest at all (Unless it's related to a physical problem)

Sex is a very important part of a relationship, especially since you are interested in it.

To be blunt, this relationship probably wont last.
Even if she really is okay with you "finding another pussy"
Eventually youre going to find another pussy that not only lets you have sex with it, but that you enjoy being around. At that point, what will be the point in staying with her?

Rape is the only option here, clearly.

use dem fingers next time first


and go talk about her in a positive way as well as finding out what kept her.

id think comfort and seduction is the key
but the main thing is to remain masculine and sexy and attractive and seductive.

It is out of the question that she wont have sex with you.
she will. She is beautiful, she is sexy and she loves you and you love her and that should be enough.
and if she aint comfortable now, she will be soon.

that would be the attitude id act on - apart from making her horny as fuck.

My first impression is that she needs to see a therapist.

Couch


Edit: was supposed to type vouch but couch seems good option atm

This post was edited by liskod2 on Nov 9 2016 03:35am

Maybe she ain't into you and is doing others behind your back. Go get some other pussies.

This post was edited by zayl121 on Nov 9 2016 04:54am

Break up

I can be the rapist!

This post was edited by gagadudu on Nov 10 2016 10:28am

This is my thinking too. I mean, typically, when you're with someone, you want to do that. It's going to be a bit crude here; but I know with my girl Carly, as soon as it had been two/three weeks, it was all I could think about. I wanted to taste her.

It sounds like most of everything is fine, but this might be pretty deep. I mean she clearly wanted to do it for you if she went out and got KY jelly. Something is fishy here, no puns intended. Maybe she has a serious problem she hasn't told you about.

She needs to talk. Maybe not to you. But she shut herself away in the bathroom and cried? I'm going to speculate she was molested in some variation, by someone very close to her. Ky jelly means there's a problem with wetness, meaning maybe she also can't get wet? Typically that happens with women as they hit menopause. The walls dry up a bit. But 21?

Mental block somewhere.

Sex *is* important too. Its almost the entire reason most people are with the other person. They wanted to mate. Sometimes it falls off, but it always happens at some point. Has it been a year with literally no sex? You've been that patient? 3rd base happen? 2nd base? Have you only held hands for a year? I'm not trying to be a dick, just curious.

Options in my opinion;

Talk to her about therapy. Separate or together it doesn't matter.

Stimulate her without insertion and gradually ease to that? I mean if your foreplay game is any good, she should be warmed up in 20 minutes at best. 30 if she likes a tease. This is true of any girl who has eyes for someone. In my experience anyway. Or has your entire sexlife with her been foreplay and such?

And if she shuts down therapy, and isn't willing to compromise, well then you've got a root issue that won't fix itself. A root in the relationship if you will, that's forked and growing through a fence you should both be able to see over. Walk over eventually.

Edit; didn't mean to finish, fat fingers. At that point, you're allowed to move on. I mean if she doesn't want therapy and doesn't want to have sex forever. If it's important to you enough, she won't be, no matter hard you try. And as a guy who is not a Priest and can't speak to a life of celibacy; no man wants to go through life without sex or the potential to get a nut, or whatever.

This post was edited by Anton24 on Nov 11 2016 06:11pm