I have a conflicted view of shaming. As a whole I think a society makes itself stronger by shaming bad behavior, whether it be overeating, drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, infidelity, dishonesty, laziness, etc. As Aristotle said, tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.

On the other hand, if someone close to me is consistently engaging in bad behavior, I'm never going to shame them. It's just not in my genes. I'll bring the issue up in a nonjudgmental, concerned way. That said, I think shaming is done in a more passive way now, which is both good and bad. For instance, compare how a store clerk treats an obese person vs an attractive person. Compare how they treat a flamboyant gay man vs a straight man.

This post was edited by IceMage on Mar 20 2016 11:43am

if you've got specifics i'd like to hear how you'd approach it

This post was edited by duffman316 on Mar 20 2016 11:44am

Or you could mind to your own life and not worry about everyone else's, but far be it from me to keep you from mouthing off. go right ahead and be prepared to receive the consequences.

gg

Well, my best friend went a little too heavy on the booze for a month in college. I made a mistake by bringing it up when he was drunk, but I just told him in a nonjudgmental way that he was drinking a lot lately. He got pissed, I remained calm, and after a couple days of mulling over the seed I planted, he toned it way down.

So, I would just plant the seed in the person's mind. Honestly I would just start the conversation with "Have you been alright lately", and go from there. Act concerned.

It's a bit narcissistic to not worry about the life of your friends and family.

if it's family or close friends, don't you think you oughtta say something?

I don't personally "shame" fat people, but I don't see why not. I guess I don't agree with flat out harassing people for being fat, but I don't think we need to try and go out of our way to make fat people feel good for being fat like we currently do.

We shame people for other things, why not for being fat?

Yeah, people tend to really hate it when their friends or family bring up the fact that they are drinking a lot, but in my experience it actually does get them thinking about drinking less if it is done in a good and nonjudgemental manner.

That's why I am against shaming. Certainly our society should encourage healthy behaviors but I'm not convinced personally shaming someone for an unhealthy lifestyle choice actually does much of anything other than hurt your relationship with that person.

I'd need to see the data on how much it helps. It's definitely gratifying though, but I'm a bit of a sadist.

so long as the intent isn't purely malicious any amount of shame could be helpful in some way i think