Feminist Experiment - Topic

card_sultan

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#61

Jan 15 2015 05:29pm

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/

TrouNce

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#62

Jan 16 2015 07:28am

Quote (HERETICtheory @ Jan 15 2015 09:57pm)

How is that anything like the discussion that is taking place right now? We're not talking about people walking around pushing their self-confidence in your face. We're talking about people acknowledging and thanking someone else for noticing it and making mention of it.

:wacko:

I think you have some really great insights on certain subjects, but I'm baffled why you would decide to make such a ridiculous comparison in this particular conversation.

edit: And to be clear, it IS fine. I'm not saying THAT is attractive. But it IS "fine." What are you going to do about it if it's not "fine?" Attack her? You could just ignore her in a situation like that.

We are talking about the internet. Can you make a timeline, or chart showing when the internet was a reasonable place?
-----------

This might be a bit pig headed, but is there any chance these ladies are being biased with who they choose for this "experiment?" I mean... Lonely, unattractive men. Women are not dependent on the attention of men, but I'm guessing there is a handful of people, or at least one person, they actually WANT attention from. Otherwise why try? What if someone very desirable leaves a compliment, do you think they'd show the same level of "confidence?"

This seems unavoidable: If you display your trophies on a shelf, someone is going to say "nice trophies." It seems like that's what you'd want.

Here's a little story to help illustrate my point. My girlfriend was a Facebook friend, and she was a hobby model. She posed for pictures so her photography friends could practice. She's gorgeous... I'm not.. She was unattainable. I'm very attainable. Still I would post on her pictures, and tell her how beautiful she was in person. We became friends, and stayed that way for 4 years until we first went on a date. I'm going to marry this girl, and it wouldn't have happened if I kept my mouth shut. To me it seems like these girls are being assholes and calling it feminism.

MxVivianWulf

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#63

Jan 16 2015 08:00am

Girl jhust needs to say thanks. It's not submission or anything... It's just polite.

I get comments on my music all the time and I just say 'thanks' or 'it's awesome you like it' or something. If I was to say 'yea I know man, I just fuckin' rock the stage!' then people would think I was a pompous ass and tbh... I don't rlly think I do anyway. I think i just do something I really enjoy and the audience pick up on that through the way I perform. If you're enjoying yourself often people around you do too.

But that's besides the point. guess I really just wanted to say - she's a stuck up bitch.

This post was edited by Scaly on Jan 16 2015 08:00am

Valhalls_Sun

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#64

Jan 16 2015 08:09am

Quote (HERETICtheory @ 15 Jan 2015 16:57)

I think we both are on the same side, we just got off on the wrong foot. I was thinking with a mindset of manners. when it came to the responses. I wasn't thinking of a motivation on the guys part beyond the compliment. If the girls are being bugged by guys I could see how the constant barrage would be tiresome.

To my way of thinking a truly confidant person be it man or woman is proud of them self, and is self aware, yes. But a truly self confident person is also humble when you really know that you are intelligent, You don't have to tell everybody. True self confidence comes with a big dose of humility. So in my thinking answering a e-mail or other form of compliment by "I know I am" isn't showing confidence. It's showing something not as nice.

when I said that I compliment my daughters and wife on being beautiful, I surely didn't mean that was all I also complement them on their brains and strength as well. I do think it is a father's job when his daughters are young to help them to build their self image both inside and out. Because unfortunately society will judge them on both. So as often as I could as a dad I would let them know that they were beautiful girls..both when they were dressed up, and when working in the barn. But more importantly I told them how smart I thought they were, and how they could do anything they wanted if they set their minds to it. (side note my oldest daughter passed the bar this summer, after being editor of the law review for 2 of 3 years, she had top score in class in litigation and tortes she now is practicing in a small partnership specializing in family law and is the city PA for two small towns) She told me she was going to be a lawyer when she was ten.

What I'm saying is that I don't think I should be, and I'm not empowering myself as the sole provider of confidence I certainly don't give myself near that much credit. I do feel a responsibility to play a part though. not out of some power trip, but out of Love and responsibility and concern that they don't grow up and draw all of their feelings of self-worth from the media or a man they date.

I hope I've explained myself and my motivation better.

GodSmiter

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#65

Jan 16 2015 08:59am

Being confident is not the same as being cocky

Kamahl16

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#66

Jan 16 2015 06:46pm

Quote (HERETICtheory @ Jan 15 2015 09:41pm)

I gotta say, I'm pretty unimpressed with the reaction to this "social experiment" around here.

Why is it not OK for someone to acknowledge and know that they are beautiful?

So it's cool to say "hey you're beautiful" and all is good if they respond with "thanks!" but as soon as they respond with "thanks, I know!" then suddenly it's vain and arrogant?

…What?

Confidence comes from within. The statement above about how confidence comes from the compliments you get is a load of horse shit. I don't know if that's a generational thing or what, but your confidence should NOT depend on the amount of compliments you get. And if it does, you need to wake the fuck up. Confidence comes from within. The ugliest person in the world could be the most confident if they wanted to be. It doesn't require X amount of compliments for it to be OK for them to be confident.

So in relation to this experiment, if you think someone is conceited for acknowledging their beauty and their significance in the world, then you need take a step back and think long and hard about what it means to actually admire and respect someone. People are not your play things. You don't get to pump up their confidence and shut it down at your own leisure. You're not even part of the picture.

I say, if someone knows they are attractive and is confident enough to acknowledge that, THAT is attractive. And as long as they aren't rude about it, more power to them. If you think it's arrogant to acknowledge your strengths, maybe you need to meet someone who really is truly arrogant.

When you go to a job interview do you wait for them to compliment you and tell you how great for the job you are? Nope. You sell yourself on your strengths in an honest and confident manner. Dating isn't really too much different.

Confidence is sexy and if confidence scares you enough that you have curse at someone and try to hurt them, then you're the insecure one.

This experiment, while pandering to the overly-offended new-wave of "feminists," still has some valid points to bring up on how emotionally stunted boys view themselves compared to the women around them. And it's not a very pretty picture. Our culture still has some powerful sexist undertones, despite all the progress we've made, and acknowledging that fact is part of overcoming it.

Interesting post, I think the most important thing anyone needs to consider, though, is to look at these responses and the whole "experiment" (haha, what bullshit that is) through the lens that it is; it is on a dating site app.

I wouldn't say that the responses fairly represent what an average male response would be given how narrow it is -- it is only guys on that app and they are responding virtually, so there's no telling how they'd respond in real life given things you put into delivery of a statement, like tone, posture and other body language, etc.

The agenda for someone on that app is probably a different one than the average agenda of a male in real life.

MxVivianWulf

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#67

Jan 16 2015 06:55pm

Quote (GodSmiter @ 16 Jan 2015 14:59)

Being confident is not the same as being cocky

True - and a confident person says thanks for a compliment. A cocky person says 'yea - I know'.

card_sultan

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#68

Jan 16 2015 07:48pm

Quote (Scaly @ Jan 16 2015 07:55pm)

True - and a confident person says thanks for a compliment. A cocky person says 'yea - I know'.

For a man yes, but for a women who's heard it a 1000 times - is just a sleazy pick up line that doesn't work.

It usually means , try again bub. She's testing you. Id see it as a challenge.

This post was edited by card_sultan on Jan 16 2015 07:52pm

inkanddagger

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#69

Jan 16 2015 09:38pm

Poorly designed. If a man responded the same way he'd get the same reaction from women.

dude_927

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#70

Jan 18 2015 02:28am

Accept a compliment? even paris hilton doesn't respond to "you're gorgeous" with "i know", call it what you wan't i aint into that kinda lady (although i doubt i would berate them online over it)

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