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Quote (Beowulf @ Jan 15 2015 05:08pm)

lol

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lmao made me laugh instantly @ gingey

Quote (Beowulf @ Jan 24 2015 05:50pm)

lmao

Quote (Sobe911 @ Jan 24 2015 07:59am)

So basically, my ex-girlfriend and I have an apartment together. We broke up yesterday, and it was not civil at all. She's refusing to move any time soon. The way the lease is set up, if she doesn't make rent then I have to make the full rent payment. She broke her collarbone on new years eve, and hasn't been able to work since then, so needless to say I have around $1,500.00 in bills I get to deal with on my own, and with her refusing to move I have no idea how I'm going to make rent next month. She's being the typical female in the "i'm on the lease I don't have to move until I want to" kind of sense, but with her not working, AND her little sister (16, not emancipated) living here I cannot afford this.

I live in the State of Oregon.

There's a 300$ deposit per dog, and there are 2 dogs here but we only paid the deposit for one of them. I did this intentionally, knowing that if things ever went south I could probably have the little sister's dog kicked out. If the dog goes, obviously she's going to go.

What to do to get rid of the ex girlfriend though. This is my first apartment, so I don't want to get evicted because I can't make rent. I have really good credit, and I'd like to have a good rental history as well.

If you have a solution, and I act based upon it and it works, I will donate a lot of FG to you.

Please help.
:fume:

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:00am)

He goes to work. Put his stuff on the lawn. Gg

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:10am)

Or just start banging her sister. She might leave then.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:12am)

Or invite her mom to move in. Obvious they don't like her if the 16 year old don't wanna stay there.

Then bang the mom.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:14am)

Or turn into a gay and start blowing dudes in the living room. She will be grossed out and jump out an window.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:15am)

Invite widdowmaker over. They will fall for him and move in with him.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:15am)

Also post pics so I can see what you are working with. I could think of better ideas once I see the real estate

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:17am)

You could try just not showering ever and leaving food everywhere and jerk off with the door open or even in the kitchen into all the clean dishes.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:18am)

Eat lots of Mexican food and never flush the toilet. Maybe miss the toilet a few times.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:19am)

Or even accidentally the kitchen.

Quote (ug_warrior(xtc) @ Jan 24 2015 08:19am)

I'd call the landlord and tell him what's going on and if he knows anything that you can do or if he can potentially work on the payment. You might be surprised how other people may react to a shitty situation as they may have experienced something similar before. Ask to meet him in person and show him how distraught you are. I'd purposely not sleep, look super tired, and say you are working normal 9-5 (whatever) and a second or third shift job just to keep food in YOUR mouth, not theirs. Also I'd talk to an attorney and see if there is some legal jargon they can't use to MAYBE manipulate the poor, confused girl. Serve her with some papers that makes it look like she'll have to appear in court and pay for a lawyer.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:21am)

Thats the worst advice in the thread. No one likes snitches. Snitches get stitches.

Just pretend to sleep walk at night and pee on her clothes.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:22am)

Make soup for them with her sisters used panties as broth.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:24am)

Lock your food and shit in your room. Just pay the rent. Tell that slag if she wants money she has a perfectly fine as she can sell for meals.

Quote (Sobe911 @ Jan 24 2015 08:27am)

Raze can you please get fucking serious or stop posting. It's really annoying to weed through all your spam to find serious responses.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:28am)

Start collecting her hair from the shower drain and when she asks what you are doing just say you miss having her sleep with you so you are trying to build a doll of her.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:30am)

Maybe if you full the apartment with balloons filled with real bad farts and she has to pop them all she will leave.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:32am)

Find her a new boyfriend. Also still is the pics so I can come up with more ideas.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:33am)

Start beating up hooker in your room.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:34am)

Maybe you could ask her to go to the store and while she is gone have a friend come over and when she gets back pretend not to know who she is and say your friend has been living there for years.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:35am)

Start putting bugs in her bed.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:37am)

Since you are the girl of the relationship and can't get her to move out just apologize to her and beg her to take you back. She might do it and pretend to be happy till she finds someone else 5 years ddown the road and runs off with him and your 2 children.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:39am)

Send her on a vacation to Africa. She will be kidnapped and you will have a stress free lyfe

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:41am)

Feed piranhas to her dog.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:42am)

While she is sleeping with her dog take compromising pictures and blackmail her.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:43am)

Maybe you could try having sex with her dad?

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:44am)

What if you just started smoking meth. I hear that makes people leave people.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:46am)

Tell her they both need to pay one way or another and then dim the lights and get naked.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:48am)

Or just be a man and tell her to go before you hulk rage and break her fucking face with the power of your manhood

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:49am)

Make a dumb clone of her. Hide the real her and just use the clone for your pleasure or make it leave.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:50am)

Just deal with the situation you put yourself in and stop being a qq baby. Be a man do the right thing.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:51am)

Just knock her up and she will be happy getting child support and move to Belair

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:52am)

Stop cooking with cheese.

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:53am)

I'm running out of ideas man. You never even said thank you for the help steve...

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:54am)

Invite a wicken cult over and tell them she is a virgin. (Maybe she is since you aren't man enough to make the law in your own house.)

Quote (Raze @ Jan 24 2015 08:57am)

Lmk if you need any help later on down the road. I'll be more than happy to help. I hope you pick the right thing that works. I'd try the cheese thing first.

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Quote (monstarr @ Feb 3 2015 02:34am)

Pushing through the night to jsp, masturbating, or listening to music can feel downright heroic. You need to do whatever you can do, against the odds.

But once the adrenaline from towning low level noobs wears off and daylight comes, you may suddenly be a little unsteady on your feet. Surviving the day after an all-nighter can be more difficult than it was to stay awake in the first place.

A night of sleep deprivation affects your brain; how quickly you can react to catching a poptart as soon as it pops out of the toaster, how well you can pay attention to the jsp rules and regulations, and how you sort information or remember it.
In fact, studies have shown that after an all-nighter, you may be functioning at a similar level as nekosama.

You may feel the worst effects just as the next day is beginning, especially if your lan party consisted of pounding beers before pounding each other.

You would think you would be the most impaired the longer you’re awake, but that is not the case.

Because of the natural flow of your body clock, or circadian rhythm, you’re actually at the worst 24 hours after your habitual wake-up time. You’ll have an unbelievably difficult time staying awake and alert.

That is also the worst time for you to get in a car to drive home and blare Juicy J. If you stayed up all night, you should not be driving, period. You are impaired.
The monotony of the road, combined with your sleep deprivation, combined with the frustration of your soj poofing, can cause you to fall asleep uncontrollably.
In a 2005 poll by some old rand in GC, more than a third of the 2 people that voted admitted having nodded off at the wheel.

If you need to continue to work, your brain will try to compensate for the sleep deprivation, or pay fg and get someone to do it for you.

Quote (monstarr @ Feb 3 2015 01:17am)

So.... I was grabbing a free sandwich at Bisbanos, but I was in the mood for pizza... good one. Bisbanos was right next door. So I walked in. I looked through the menu and noticed that their pizzas were 800 fg for five slices, not including bisbano bread (hotdog buns made into breadsticks).... which is a good bit more than the best pizza shop in town, Little Caasers. The hostess, Lauren, let me know that you cannot sit inside and eat there unless you purchase a minimum of 1,000 fg per person, which I only spent 800.... which in and of itself was ridiculous. Who puts a minimum order for dine-in? Apparently only this place. I also noticed that the dine-in menu had a 10" dick for Lexi, but the same pizza was only 600 fg for females. The lady said, "They're good, they are all white meat from Ant himself." I don't know any place that isn't all white meat in this hick town.... I walked out.....

But it wasn't over. I sat in my car for a moment and decided that while I was there, I may as well get their Bisbano Bread because now driving someplace else would be a waste of time and gas. So I went back in.... hoping they were made with special cinnamon roll icing for him to lick off my finger. I told the waiter (Damon), in a joking manner, that I decided to give the hole in one pizza a try! He told me that the two people in their dining room (there were only two) are regulars and have the Bisbano Bread and Cait Cucumber. So I decided to give it a shot. 900 fg for Bisbano Bread with extra Bisbano licking icing. And 600 fg for a to-go pizza for a friend, Mason.

While I went to chat with the two regulars to see what the food was like, my friend Mason heard the hostess say with an attitude, "God, they're just Bisbano dick shaped breadsticks." Yeah. They are. Breaddicks you want me to pay 1,250 fg for. So no... they're not covered in human icing for that charge, good lorde. When you charge more than anybody in the city for that special sauce.
She also was caught saying, "Well they're better than the Pizza place from Toy Story." I would freaking hope so!!!! You're kidding me right now!!!

She gives me the receipt to sign. And places an "x" next to the tip line and total line. If they think they're getting tips when they are forcing you to take it to go, they have another thing coming.

So we get the food and eat outside since we ordered the pizza off the to go menu.... so it was 600 fg instead of 900 fg... making it impossible for us to dine in. Even though I spent 2,000 fg for 2 people. If we had wanted to, the pizza would immediately be 300 fg more, just to sit in their restaurant.

The Bisbano Breaddicks. There were five. Two of them were tiny wanna-be dicks. One was a little bigger, and only two were good sized. And while they tasted decently, they are identical to other dicks elsewhere that charge much less, and serve them with cold water.
They didn't warrant me to pay 900 fg for them.

So.... because of the ridiculousness of this place.... I won't be going back. If you want to completely over-pay for food that is almost as bad as watching people perform anal sex on chaturbate, but not much better.... this is where you want to eat.

Quote (monstarr @ Feb 3 2015 11:45am)

Tinychat takes videoconferencing back to the chatroom days of the ancient randos of GC. Is this a welcome splash of retrofuturism, or just a shitty made website with an exceptionally shitty made phone app?

Now personally, I haven’t been on tinychat in about 5 minutes since I signed on and saw Casey left. Maybe I’m out of touch with the young whippersnappers who are schooling or sleeping, but I don’t understand leaving when I'm trying to smoke with you.
Tinychat is built pretty much entirely around the idea of transgender conversations and dick pics.

If the scrolling images on the front page are to be believed, Tinychat is home to a lot of drug addicts and alcohol abusers, guys dressing in drag, talking about dicks, boys, and whatever hippity-hop is playing on the radio these days.
Kids still listen to the radio, right? IM IN LOVE WITH THE COCO. I’ll give up the schtick and move on, but the point is that Tinychat positions itself as another social medium not at all unlike what you'd see if you had the IQ of a disembowled porcupine.

Most people are going to try and do the same thing I did when they arrive at Tinychat’s homepage, figure out why the fuck I actually signed on to this program and thinking of making an account. It's called tinychat, not tinyvideos, this shit looks like it's for ants and anthonys.

The first sign-up window asks for the same general information that viruses from watching porn would give, for example. That wouldn’t be too bad, except that what follows are not one, not two, but four different profile set-up pages, each more esoteric than the last.
While you can skip them all, it's better to just appear as a guest so you can troll and people don't know who you are.

Hey, I just wanted to open a chat room, not create a “peep show” of my penis. Wrong. Tinychat is centered around the dicks of antisocial scrawns.
Tinychat’s configuration suffers the same problems that tend to plague a lot of modern solutions, it flat out sucks.
Too many options, too specific, and not enough guidance. Flexibility should be abstracted somewhat to allow more retarded users like joe to be able to be understood.

And you see it gets worse. I guess if you were interested in producing a new and exciting communication medium, you might pursue these options, but this level of personalization can be off-putting for people that just want to chat with their fake internet friends.
The really silly thing is that just by cursory examination, I can’t even find a general index to browse chats consisting of hot ass chicks naked.

So if you're in the mood for some weiners on camera or a video depicting the sad lives of internet warriors, load up tinychat, where the name fits perfectly for the underwhelming size these plebians possess.