Quote (dude_927 @ 15 Dec 2014 16:11)
Is it wrong to say something blatantly untrue to make someone feel better about mortality? It has become a trend with police (the ones who have to inform the families of the deceased) to say things like "he died instantly, no suffering" or "he's in a better place" (from an atheist), is this acceptable behavior? Do you think it is more a matter of "helping the grieving" or "make breaking the news a little bit easier on their self". I have recently been in a situation where i was having a discussion with a terminally ill cancer patient, and i kept having urges to say things that i would not say in any other situation just to ease the tension of silence, is this just a human response, is it empathetic discomfort, or is it merely my attempt to "dodge" the admission that i simply do not know if things will be ok and cannot offer the condolence i wish i were capable of offering.
If this is a family member or an old friend, for one they know all about their sickness. They've talked about it hundreds of times, try talking about some good old memories, like a family get together or even stories about mutual friends or other family members. Chances are they've been in bed for a while by this point, and hearing about things outside the four walls that they have been looking at is always a welcome thing. I've found that visits with dying friends and members of my church the best thing I could do was of course talk about their illness
if they want to and
if they bring it up. Try hard not to be uncomfortable talking about it, because they may really need to talk. And don't sugarcoat things don't lie and say "oh you aren't that bad" they know exactly how bad they are. But if they didn't talk about being sick and dying, then I would keep the talk as bright and cheerful as I could, if I didn't know them very well I would try to draw stories out of them from happy memories in their past. Really anything to make them happy for a while I think is the nice thing to do.