I'm at this point in my life where nothing really matters and I don't care for anything. So where should I start? I'm 24 years old and still live with my parents. I flunked 6 semesters of college (wasted about 100k on tuition fees cuz I got nothing out of it). I quit smoking weed about 2 1/2 weeks ago for many reasons.

My parents weren't happy with it, I'm financially unstable(6k+ credit card debt), I felt like I was smoking too much and spending money I didn't have, I wanted to stop supporting my suppliers, and more reasons I cannot think of currently. Before I quit, life was okay. I had friends, went out for activities/events , played

video games, ate normally, etc etc. I mean... I still had all the same problems, but it was a lot easier to deal with while smoking. Now here I am, angry at the world/myself, rarely eating, depressed for God knows what reason. Also, after work I either sleep or sit still staring at a blank wall thinking about murdering people

and violent depressing thoughts. Pretty much I feel like a psychopath but I don't think I am. Maybe an attention-whore? Who knows. So I pretty much dropped all of my friends after I quit smoking weed. I've got.. 3 people I actually talk to on a regular basis, and no offense to them but it doesn't really help my cause.

Why did I drop my friends? Its a long story. To start, I guess I didn't feel appreciated by them and I expected too much. Nobodies perfect, I know. But after 10+ years of friendship I feel as though they got too comfortable and I felt disrespected by some. Some got into hard drugs and I didn't approve. And I think I

felt more strongly about the friendship than some other did. (I'd call them most of the times and they'd rarely call me) So that is that. Smoking weed never fixes your problems, it just makes it easier to deal with. I felt like I had to put that out there for people who think I'm trying to say otherwise. Long story short, I

feel like smoking weed TO ME gives me the motivation to actually do things and makes me happy. And when I don't I feel moody, depressed, angry, and I don't do anything with my life. Its been a day and a half since I last ate a meal. I'm hungry, yet I don't want to eat. I rarely speak to my parents or sibling. Now lets

move onto my job. I got this cashier job at a deli(small business) about 2 months ago. Not to be cocky or anything but I am an excellent worker. After a month there I learned the whole menu, almost all the prices, and I did a great job..(until i quit smoking). So the problem at the store, I feel like I don't get paid

enough for the work I do. No one ever does, I know. However, when I take cashier orders and phone orders BY MYSELF, it gets tough, especially when its busy. There is only ME as the cashier. My bosses ( husband and wife) don't know anything. They constantly ask me questions every 2 minutes. They don't read the

ticket that prints out the food orders. I tell them how the customer wants their sandwich and they screw the order up ( after asking me what to do 5 times). The system they had for giving out food was ridiculous. Customers didn't get a receipt or ticket number after ordering. We would have to scream out the entire

order in the store to find out who got what. It is stressful to work there. My bosses, the cooks, and delivery driver ALL depend on me. Did I say that its been 2 months since I started? Everyone else has been there for 7months+. So yeah, I don't think I get paid enough for the work I do. I don't really know what else to

say but it kinda feels better writing it all down. I've got more issues of course. This is just the icing on the cake. Well I guess I'll be back when things come to mind. My writing is all over the place, I know. Anyway I guess I should probably eat something... although I'm not sure what.

This post was edited by Panguin on Oct 21 2014 05:20pm