Blog #3

Where it all began: http://forums.d2jsp.org/topic.php?t=64158218&f=276&o=0
Where it took some turns: http://forums.d2jsp.org/topic.php?t=68373150&f=276

And now, here we are.



In general, I've noticed, that the happier I am IRL, the less I post here, not saying, I am unhappy when I post, I'm just doing other things, that demand my attention.


I'd like to say I left my second blog, to create this chapter in my life- a more independent version of myself, or so, I'd hope to think.

Right now, I am 18, almost 19.
With a lovely job as a barista in an up and coming coffee shop.
I am currently managing/ in charge of mornings and a key holder.

Currently, I am technically "single"

I left my previous relationship of 5 years to get to know my self, as an independent person.
To know who I am, not as Anthone's girlfriend, but as Kathleen.

Yes, I miss him dearly-
I dont know if I will get back together with him, I would like to, I still love him dearly, but I need to know who I am first, before committing further in to this relationship, by moving in with him.


while there are a few men attempting to court me, I am so busy with work, I cannot entertain anything.
working off the clock >

However, my boss, Phillip notices my hard work,
and has thusly promoted me , and said, as we grow and expand, I am his first choice to give a pay raise to.

My living situation:
the court date for my mother's custody fight has not arrived yet for some strange reason, it was predicted sometime mid september, I feel like this is a blessing in disguise
I thank the Lord for this.

So, this buys me more time

right now, my only option is, moving back in with my father... that will be one heck of a risk.

or a shelter.
I cannot afford to live in student housing or rent an apartment.

Which is why I need my license so i can pick up a second part time job, to be able to afford to live.


I guess thats my struggle right now, being able to afford to live.
well, not just my struggle, but everyone's struggle.

i love ya babe!

Phillip said, if/when he buys a resturaunt, I'll be manager at Cafeccino.
Hard, stressful day, but productive.

Cramping sucks dick.
Yesterday I pretty much yelled about how Jeremiah closed the night before.

However, I did get to see Neil yesterday which made me very very very happy. We have plans Saturday night.

‘Wherever you go, may people always recognize that you have a beautiful heart.’”

Got my raise. And now I'm going to work to find a mentor about business, getting to choose one person out of ~ 50 people.
Phillip said to dress business professional. Lets see how far that goes.

Neil canceled.
So, plans were canceled, something with his grandfather, so all of his family is going there. I am a bit disappointed.
But tonight was me, mom, tv, and Chinese food.
And right now, it's me and the bath tub.
I haven't taken a bubble bath in a while.

I went and bought two things today, a nice dress and some pants that are super long lol.

BUT I LOVE THEM.

I need to stop spending though.
Next week I'm going to try and not spend much.

Besides the laptop from Jessie for 200.
That's it.

Saw Neil today, went to the smoke shop, harley place, guitar center, and then he came over for like 5 mins.

I probably wont see him tomorrow, cause he will be at the garage.
He said that we are in a monagamus relationship,

cause I askd him for clarification on where we stand-
but we are not boyfriend/girlfriend



and, ILOVEPATRICKCASWELL.

Anthone cheated on me the whole time.
tygmail for clearing that up.

Cried myself to sleep,
not over anthone, but because of how I could be so dumb- I'm hurt, I'm extremely hurt,
but I know I can do better, I know I can be better.

I know Neil probably is not the option, but there is just something about him, something so alluring.
Probably, because he knows how to sell himself, being a sales executive, he should know that.

I just hope he doesn't see me as a casual girlfriend.
sorry, not girlfriend- "date"

cause it is hard for him to have a "girlfriend"

damn, He is so confusing- It just stresses me out.
He likes me, he says we are in a "monogamous relationship"

so, does that mean, facebook official?
"in a relationship"
I mean, if its monogamous, wouldn't it be facebook official?
you see what I'm saying?

OK, now I'm just overthinking.


Rough day, ok day at work.
but just rough day in general, emotionally.

Bought Jessie's laptop
this thing is worth 1000
he sold it to me for 200. what a deal
My uncle was like , If you don't buy that I'm going to.

lol, Jessie is so nice, "anything tohelp out a friend"