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Jul 9 2014 08:39pm
This will be the place where you and I type up short stories.!

Good grammar is not needed, but at least be udntstadnatble yah know? It just makes sense. I'll post a few of what I've already done here.


Sitting in that circle, the yellow light hazing us in our moment of alertness. Was that a creak I heard around the stairs? That top step was always creaking when I headed down for my milk and cookies. My friend Jamie to the left grabbed the blunt sitting between my lips, taking a long drag. I scowled and kept quiet, thinking that there is no reason to make too much noise unless i unsettle the slender man that may or may have not climbed the stairs. I remember last night me and Jamie were running for our fucking lives from that guy with nothign from a flashlight. I don't know why we decided to light it up in the central park, other than the chance of crossing crazed couples going at it in the darkness of night or simply because we didn't want to stank up our room at home. The blunt went out and for some reason so did my single lightbulb in the middle of my room. "FUCKING SHIT!" I shouted, startled at the sudden darkness. Grabbing Jamie's hand I ran and kicked my bedroom door down, numbing my foot in the process. Jamie, who suddenly became attentive as soon as she heard the door hit the floor protested. "What the hell you doin man? Your ruining my buzz." .... Is she really so concerned about something so trivial when fuckign slenderman is around the corner? "Jamie I'll get you out of here!" I dashed across the hallway that is suspended above my high ceilled house that couples a first and second floor, and dashed towards the stairs. All of a sudden my legs gave out and i fell down the stairs and was knocked out cold. The next morning I awoke with my parents looking somber, tears on their cheeks. Jamie's hand was still in mine, but it was cold. They kept asking me what happened but all I could say is that slenderman pushed me down the stairs.
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Jul 9 2014 08:40pm
The night's air has a stale taste to it. Summer's humidity holding the weighted air in place made it feel as if it might as well be raining. The caravan is moving at a steady pace, the day guard sleeping in cart pulled by lumbering oxen. Maire swept his gaze across the plains of the Greater Nivion, the grass still despite it's wide expanse.

Will there be thieves tonight? Who cares, if they came I'll just dispose of them and get my coin.

With this thought Maire continued his watch as he kept pace with the traders horsemen. A mercenary, considered scum in this society, was the only way he could support himself. It was a lifestyle that suited him. He never had to stay in one place long, moving inn to inn and from town to town. While he was in a town named Liofe along the Nioa, obviously positioned near the precious source of water, he heard of this job in the local tavern. Because of this he had money and something to live for.

Maire glanced to the left, careful to not be too alarmed in case of appearing just that way.

Would somebody really attack on a night like this? It may be dark but the grass will easily give way to their presence.

Glancing at the other hired guards he noticed that he was the only one aware. No point in dragging this out then. Maire exhaled and whispered one word, "swift." Blinking quickly in order to view the scene properly Maire drew his black-bladed short-sword. The first thief he came upon was obviously the scout, as he was a dozen or so meters ahead of the rest. Wasting no time Maire angled his blade to slit his throat as he passed by. The thief collapsed with a rustle, but Maire did not stop to make sure his passing finished the job. Ahead of him were six others, still unaware of his presence.

Sweat beaded down his face despite his light breatheing. Another word was spoken, "Sever." Maire dashed forward unaided yet still faster than most into a crowd of startled thieves. These men were the very mark of veterans. Their armor glinted despite the cloud covered moon. However, they were still lightly fit enough to quietly move through the brush and to move quickly if needed.

None of this mattered in the face of Maire's black short-sword. The first of the thieves was direct in front of him. Maire set is right foot down hard to the side of the thief's position, stepping slightly in with a jab at the throat of the man in front of him. 'Sever' caused his blade to enter the mailed throat as easily as if it was bare skin allowing him to use his firmly planted right foot to quickly turn him in a diagonal slash on the man closing on his right, cleaving him in half.

Seeing this scene would cause any man to hesitate and these veterans were no exceptions. Maire took this allotted time to move away from the center of their formation, less he get attacked from all sides. One man, stocky in nature saw this as a chance and dropped his short-spear to attempt a take-down on the side-stepping Maire. Reacting to this as if it was within expectations Maire jumped, twisting himself in the air and allowing the momentum to snap his arm through the path of the stocky man. Blood splurted all over Maire's leather clad outfit, adding a salty smell to the darkened plain. Seeing this the remaining men knew they had no chance against this force before them.

Dropping their weapons so as if to lighten themselves they turned and ran, not caring about the tall grass clinging to them with every step lest they fall prey to Maire's blade. It would not be good to let the fight be unfinished, and with this in mind Maire spoke one final word. "Silence."

The night was ending, and the morning guards were waking and relieving the night guard of their posts. Brian, a easygoing and energetic man happened to notice Maire leave the tall grass onto the path that the caravan was following. "Hi there Maire! Another quiet night eh, other than the sounds of your piss wetting the grass right?" he said in a cheerful voice, ignoring the two groups of tired guards and merchants around him. Maire who was clean and dry despite his prior engagement just nodded and walked over to the cart, laying down and pulling a blanket over his eyes to ward the sun. Brain clicked his tongue in annoyance at the short response walked to take Maire's watch.

Maire woke up for his second night on the caravan trip. It seems like they have made quite a bit of progress during the day, crossing most of the grassy praries and enclosing on the mountains that were prevoiusly simple shadows on the horizon. "Good morning, or night as it may be Maire." Startled at the abrupt greetings Maire confirmed that the annoyance was once again from his shift reliever Brian, but why was he still up? "My friend Derean switched with me Maire, now we can talk the night shift away, I bet your happy now, right?" Said Brian, confirming my fears. Ignoring him to make the answer clear and to not waste any energy Maire vaulted off the cart and grabbed his scabbard and strapped across his back. Brain who was ignored and unphased simply kept pace with Maire as he walked towards his routine guard position.

The grassy prairey was still there, however, it was rather sprase and the path that the caravan was traveling on was wider, making it a lot easier to guard and the merchants and their families seemed to sleep easier because of that, their snores quite a bit more audible than the average night. A few hours passed with no sign of any thieves or bandits. Brian who is normally talkative whenever he sees Maire was also silent, his eyes wandering the sharp hills composed of heavily segmented stone that signified the beginning of the mountains.


This one is on to be continued.


This post was edited by ChrisKz on Jul 9 2014 08:41pm
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Jul 12 2014 09:35am
No one cares to comment or share? You guys are a useless section...
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Jul 12 2014 09:58am
Quote (ChrisKz @ Jul 12 2014 10:35am)
No one cares to comment or share? You guys are a useless section...


Give it some time dude, I posted looking for feedback on my short story 3 months ago and have only had 3 responses. This subforum in general is pretty dead.


I don't really like fanfiction, much less slenderman, so that was kind of weird. But I guess there are people out there who like it.
Your second story feels way more like an excerpt from a novel. I don't think it would work well as a short story, there's too much going on. With everything you wrote I expect some character development for the protagonist at least and probably Brian as well. Additionally, you'd have to talk about where he's going, why, explain his world, his history (why he's whispering words when killing the thieves). Not to say this story was bad, it was fairly well written. However, it wouldn't be very good unless you go pretty deep into that particular world and story.
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Jul 12 2014 10:26am
Quote (furbyjs @ 12 Jul 2014 11:58)
Give it some time dude, I posted looking for feedback on my short story 3 months ago and have only had 3 responses. This subforum in general is pretty dead.


I don't really like fanfiction, much less slenderman, so that was kind of weird. But I guess there are people out there who like it.
Your second story feels way more like an excerpt from a novel. I don't think it would work well as a short story, there's too much going on. With everything you wrote I expect some character development for the protagonist at least and probably Brian as well. Additionally, you'd have to talk about where he's going, why, explain his world, his history (why he's whispering words when killing the thieves). Not to say this story was bad, it was fairly well written. However, it wouldn't be very good unless you go pretty deep into that particular world and story.


I'm planning on having it as a series of shortstories =).
The slenderman one was made in some 420 kids thread cuz i thought it would be funny, so i posted it up here.

And there was like 25 views and no comments......
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Jul 16 2014 09:25pm
What is the point of a friend.
Is it to cleanse the hell loneliness sends.
Or is it for companionship, a feeling of nearness?
Some people say such words as "friends" without much seriousness.
What about those that get hurt, what justice will they be served.
Just sit there at night looking up at the stars through your skylight.
Wondering why, oh why did you hate instead of compromise.
There is always that thread keeping you together.
Though it is colorless, not even white like a feather.
You decide what color you will dye that thread, lest your friendship will end.


typed this out, thought it was pretty neat, means quite a bit to me.
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