I guess 3 times is the charm then apparently.

OP there isn't any point in pursuing this girl cause her trust has been lost on you. Trust is hard to earn back... and if you seriously want to invest months and months of time with this girl.. then you better be on your A game cause girls are perceptive, so she'll be looking for any cues or clues that you might revert to your habitual ways.

is the op even reading this? i see no posts from him here?

why did u even pursue the relationship with the old ex?

ye I'm here.
she wasn't an ex. she was a longtime crush.
why? dunno. no idea. because I thought I would be even better with her. I totally gambled it.

thing is
I was okay the last 4-5 days, denial phase is gone. just sadness now.
problem kicks in when I get jealous of her (after a bit of lurking etc). that's when I fall again.

obviously the solution is to stop lurking, but... in my head she fucks useless idiots just to forget the pain I caused her. and it hurts lol

yeah almost every guy assumes their ex is out fucking anything with a pole but most of the time, that simply isn't true.

i've maintained friendship with most of my exes and was shocked to hear they didn't go on a massive sex spree after we broke up

funny.

in my head this is exactly what u were doing....

how would u make sure it doesnt happen again?