(When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.

I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.

Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.

She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I **** love women.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my **** out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.

I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.

Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.

I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.

I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.

Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHIT!". It was one of those moments.

The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.

I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.

Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.)

Einstein interpreted Planck's quanta as photons, particles of light, and proposed that the energy of a photon is proportional to its frequency, a mysterious wave-particle duality. Since energy and momentum are related in the same way as frequency and wavenumber in relativity, it followed that the momentum of a photon is proportional to its wavenumber.

DeBroglie hypothesized that this is true for all particles, for electrons as well as photons, that the energy and momentum of an electron are the frequency and wavenumber of a wave. Assuming that the waves travel roughly along classical paths, he showed that they form standing waves only for certain discrete frequencies, discrete energy levels which reproduced the old quantum condition.

Following up on these ideas, Schrödinger decided to find a proper wave equation for the electron. He was guided by Hamilton's analogy between mechanics and optics, encoded in the observation that the zero-wavelength limit of optics resembles a mechanical system--- the trajectories of light rays become sharp tracks which obey a principle of least action. Hamilton believed that mechanics was the zero-wavelength limit of wave propagation, but did not formulate an equation for those waves. This is what Schrödinger did, and a modern version of his reasoning is reproduced in the next section. The equation he found is:


Using this equation, Schrödinger computed the spectral lines for hydrogen by treating a hydrogen atom's single negatively charged electron as a wave, , moving in a potential well, V, created by the positively charged proton. This computation reproduced the energy levels of the Bohr model.

But this was not enough, since Sommerfeld had already seemingly correctly reproduced relativistic corrections. Schrödinger used the relativistic energy momentum relation to find what is now known as the Klein-Gordon equation in a Coulomb potential (in natural units):


He found the standing-waves of this relativistic equation, but the relativistic corrections disagreed with Sommerfeld's formula. Discouraged, he put away his calculations and secluded himself in an isolated mountain cabin with a lover.

While there, Schrödinger decided that the earlier nonrelativistic calculations were novel enough to publish, and decided to leave off the problem of relativistic corrections for the future. He put together his wave equation and the spectral analysis of hydrogen in a paper in 1926.[2]. The paper was enthusiastically endorsed by Einstein, who saw the matter-waves as the visualizable antidote to what he considered to be the overly formal matrix mechanics.

The Schrödinger equation defines the behaviour of , but does not interpret what is. Schrödinger tried unsuccessfully, in his fourth paper, to interpret it as a charge density.[3] In 1926 Max Born, just a few days after Schrödinger's fourth and final paper was published, successfully interpreted as a probability amplitude[4]. Schrödinger, though, always opposed a statistical or probabilistic approach, with its associated discontinuities; like Einstein, who believed that quantum mechanics was a statistical approximation to an underlying deterministic theory, Schrödinger was never reconciled to the Copenhagen interpretation.[5]

its very long!

Composition

Cosmic rays may broadly be divided into two categories, primary and secondary. The cosmic rays that arise in extrasolar astrophysical sources are primary cosmic rays; these primary cosmic rays can interact with interstellar matter to create secondary cosmic rays. The sun also emits low energy cosmic rays associated with solar flares. The exact composition of primary cosmic rays, outside the Earth's atmosphere, is dependent on which part of the energy spectrum is observed. However, in general, almost 90% of all the incoming cosmic rays are protons, about 9% are helium nuclei (alpha particles) and about 1% are electrons. The remaining fraction is made up of the other heavier nuclei which are abundant end products of star’s nuclear synthesis. Secondary cosmic rays consist of the other nuclei which are not abundant nuclear synthesis end products, or products of the Big Bang, primarily lithium, beryllium and boron. These light nuclei appear in cosmic rays in much greater abundance (about 1:100 particles) than in solar atmospheres, where their abundance is about 10-7 that of helium.

This abundance difference is a result of the way secondary cosmic rays are formed. When the heavy nuclei components of primary cosmic rays, namely the carbon and oxygen nuclei, collide with interstellar matter, they break up into lighter nuclei (in a process termed cosmic ray spallation), into lithium, beryllium and boron. It is found that the energy spectra of Li, Be and B falls off somewhat steeper than that of carbon or oxygen, indicating that less cosmic ray spallation occurs for the higher energy nuclei presumably due to their escape from the galactic magnetic field. Spallation is also responsible for the abundances of Sc, Ti, V and Mn elements in cosmic rays, which are produced by collisions of Fe and Ni nuclei with interstellar matter; see Environmental radioactivity#Naturals.

In the past, it was believed that the cosmic ray flux has remained fairly constant over time. Recent research has, however, produced evidence for 1.5 to 2-fold millennium-timescale changes in the cosmic ray flux in the past forty thousand years.[4]

[edit]
Modulation

The flux (flow rate) of cosmic rays incident on the Earth’s upper atmosphere is modulated (varied) by two processes; the sun’s solar wind and the Earth's magnetic field. Solar wind is expanding magnetized plasma generated by the sun, which has the effect of decelerating the incoming particles as well as partially excluding some of the particles with energies below about 1 GeV. The amount of solar wind is not constant due to changes in solar activity over its regular eleven-year cycle. Hence the level of modulation varies in autocorrelation with solar activity. Also the Earth's magnetic field deflects some of the cosmic rays, which is confirmed by the fact that the intensity of cosmic radiation is dependent on latitude, longitude and azimuth. The cosmic flux varies from eastern and western directions due to the polarity of the Earth’s geomagnetic field and the positive charge dominance in primary cosmic rays; this is termed the east-west effect. The cosmic ray intensity at the equator is lower than at the poles as the geomagnetic cutoff value is greatest at the equator. This can be understood by the fact that charged particle tend to move in the direction of field lines and not across them. This is the reason the Aurorae occur at the poles, since the field lines curve down towards the Earth’s surface there. Finally, the longitude dependence arises from the fact that the geomagnetic dipole axis is not parallel to the Earth’s rotation axis.

This modulation which describes the change in the interstellar intensities of cosmic rays as they propagate in the heliosphere is highly energy and spatial dependent, and it is described by the Parker's Transport Equation in the heliosphere. At large radial distances, far from the Sun ~ 94 AU, there exists the region where the solar wind undergoes a transition from supersonic to subsonic speeds called the solar wind termination shock. The region between the termination shock and the heliospause (the boundary marking the end of the heliosphere) is called the heliosheath. This region acts as a barrier to cosmic rays and it decreases their intensities at lower energies by about 90% indicating that it is not only the Earth's magnetic field that protect us from cosmic ray bombardment. For more on this topic and how the barrier effects occur the agile reader is referred to Mabedle Donald Ngobeni and Marius Potgieter (2007), and Mabedle Donald Ngobeni (2006).

From modelling point of view, there is a challenge in determining the Local Interstellar spectra (LIS) due to large adiabatic energy changes these particles experience owing to the diverging solar wind in the heliosphere. However, significant progress has been made in the field of cosmic ray studies with the development of an improved state-of-the-art 2D numerical model that includes the simulation of the solar wind termination shock, drifts and the heliosheath coupled with fresh descriptions of the diffusion tensor, see Langner et al. (2004). But challenges also exist because the structure of the solar wind and the turbulent magnetic field in the heliosheath is not well understood indicating the heliosheath as the region unknown beyond. With lack of knowledge of the diffusion coefficient perpendicular to the magnetic field our knowledge of the heliosphere and from the modelling point of view is far from complete. There exist promising theories like ab initio approaches, but the drawback is that such theories produce poor compatibility with observations (Minnie, 2006) indicating their failure in describing the mechanisms influencing the cosmic rays in the heliosphere.

Holy fuck infinity stop spamming and actually read my damn story its funny if you actually have the patience to read it.

Thats fucking embarrising man..

lol!

This post was edited by h82lose on Jul 10 2008 02:23am

LOL
that is horrible.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BAD MY SIDES HURT FROM LAUGHING

10/10