It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping they did
when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became
necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for extra income and for
health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech when
we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the
local medical center.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I noticed that
she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from fishing or
hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows
how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an
hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this
happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is
not as young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she
finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It
is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after
supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that
they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does
seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy
used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get tired.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I
don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry
the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless
I need something ironed to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to
Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's
bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next
evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some
of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or
dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut
and scale the fish as a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to
complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough
for me to notice. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her
to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite
of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell
her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't
have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely
now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods
than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she had
to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age talking.
In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra
rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as
long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me
and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a
daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find
it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can
become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to
suggest that you make the effort. I realize that achieving the
exemplary level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach
for the average man
Sorry I started to read this and became attached enjoy.