Hi,

I would like to know if what I wrote there is a decent use of english language. As well, notice me if something wrong or has no sense.
Still learning english and it was one of my first try.

Let me know if you understand the meaning of it also.

Main topic was: "The world stopped, a guy (earthling) must decide if he will moves during the fight to death against someone else (earthling or non-earthling). If he defeats it, they live ("they" himself + the entire planet he is living on) and the other one die. If he loses, himself an his entire planet die, but other keep living."

If this topic doesn't respect the jsp rules, then sorry for spam and just lock it, thank you.




There is a second part called: What if I care ?

Regards.

You might get quicker and more effective responses posting in the "Homework Helpline" subforum.
However, I'll read over it and let you know with an edit.

Moving down the paper:
"... like, weakened or something." -- This sound fairly childish, and in papers people try not to write using such language (unless it's a quote or dialogue). Simply removing the "like," and "or something" would make it sound better, if a bit shorter.
"... second nature, just doesn't ..." -- Comma shouldn't be there.
"... protect, really need ..." -- Unnecessary comma.
"I think, 'If we lose ... of a difference?'" -- "I think, '...'" is like saying, "He said, '...'"

I don't think I'll go through and try to find every grammatical error (I'm not that good with grammar =/
If you just want to know if it looks like a native speaker wrote it, not really. The main errors that betray your knowledge of the language are missing articles (a mostly).
"Maybe I'm jsut not right as a human being."
"... really that big of a difference?"
"Why so the hero-style main characters always end the movie smiling and laughing?" -- Doesn't make much sense.
Maybe, "Why is it so that the ... "
Or better would be, "At the end of the movie, why are the hero-style main characters always smiling and laughing?"

One thing to note about commas: If you were reading your paper aloud, and you pause at a certain point, that doesn't always mean a comma will be there. If a section could be it's own sentence (make sense just saying it alone), then you need a comma. Otherwise, you don't need one.
"That's why, I stopped watching movies." This is not correct. Imagine they were two sentences "That's why." wouldn't be a very good sentence, as you have no idea what it's talking about

Sorry I didn't go through the whole thing =/

This post was edited by furbyjs on Apr 1 2014 06:33pm