Quote (Fork @ Apr 19 2010 10:59am)
When i was a little child my parents sent me off to the world of diablo. I was only a level one paladin. It was very scary and loney. They only friend i had was my homie Azamat the necromancer. I was sitting by the fire the other night in the rogue encampment when Gheed came over to give me a letter. I was excited, i thought to myself...FINALLY! after months of no contact, my parents have finally reached me! I go to open the letter, excited from missing them for so long. It turns out that the letter was From Deckard Cain.
Dear Crocodile, I know you may not know me very well,
but i am a close family friend. In fact i'm your godfather.
Recently your parents left you in the rogue encampment
to train and level up. I hope you're doing good there.
Don't get lost in the Den of Evil. I'm sorry to be the bearer
of bad news, but there was an accident. Me and your parents
Were on a mission trip in Tristram when we were ambushed by
Griswold, a nasty pedophile who had been raping the poor children
of Tristram, turning them all bad. Unfortunately i stayed to fend while
your parents ran. They ran straight into the arms of the big titted Dominatrix
named Andariel. They were whipped and fucked with spiked dildos until they died.
What's even worse is they got off easy. Griswold kept me as his sex slave.
Molesting me and making me act like an orphan child so that he could edulge
in his own personal fantasies. It's horrible, the only way i was able to write this
letter was to pretend to get a drink of Wirts blood. From there i payed a gypsy
to bring this letter to the Rogue Encampment. Please train and fight so that
You can free me and avenge your parents death by slaying Andariel.
Sincerely,
Deckard Cain
After recieving this horrible news i didn't know what to think, my parents were gone. I MUST KILL ANDARIAL! What's a dominatrix? After a couple days of mourning i called up Azamat and told him everything. He said we should level after school. I agreed. School sucked! Me and Azamat only go because we get to look at Akara's cleavage while she teaches us how to make juvies. I still can't remember the recipie. 2 healing and 3 mana? or maybe it was 3healing and 2 mana? Shit i don't know. All i know is that Akara has the nicest pair of Full juvies i've ever seen. Azamat thinks the same haha, he doesn't even know how to fill up a tp tome yet. All he does is sit there and drool looking at Akara. Like she doesn't notice, she does. She always talks about her ex boyfriend Corpsefire. Maybe if we kill him she'll give us what we want. Finally school's over, god damn! that took forever. Off to the Blood Moor. Me and Azamat were beating the shit out of Fallens and Zombies, leveling like crazy. 1, 2, 3, 4.... It seemed like in only a matter of minutes we were level 6. Fuck yes! now i can use Holy Fire. FUCK SHIT UP! I always envied Azamats summons, He could always talk to his undead friends. But now i was getting stronger than ever. Killing wild animals with my mind. After 30 mins of searching we found it. There it was, clearly labeled. The Den of Evil! We were finally there. I told Azamat to go in first. Nobody hates getting cave jumped more than me. Little bitch fallens hiding waiting to fuck you up, only to get hit by a fireball from a piece of shit shaman. He almost died. I like Azamat and all, but he's a pussy when it comes to health. I have over 100 now and he's still at 60 or some pussy shit. At least he has those summons though, they're my meatshield of choice. After a couple levels we make it to that fucking rat bastard Corpsefire and his little faggot squad. I look over at Azamat and he puts bone shield on, he looks back at me. I'm flaring my might aura. "TIME TO FUCK SHIT UP!" We beat the shit out of those bonepile zombies. They fight like a drunk hobo. We spanked em' real quick. "Gimme the loot!" i said, holding Corpsefire down with my scepter to the back of his head. He handed over 300 G's and a rare wand. I gave that shit to Azamat for helping me out. He was stoked! Plus two to Raise Skeleton, HELL YEAH! When we got back to town we went straight to Akara. We told her we cleared the whole Den of Evil for her and she was euphoric. Almost like one of those rave bitches on molly. She was DTF. She took us both and fucked our brains out. And you thought +1 to skills was as easy as just talking to the bitch. Hell no, we had foreplay and everything.After the double team, she gave us both a new perspective on life. Just incase we need to respec later on.
To be continued....go easy on the drugs pls