d2jsp
Log InRegister
d2jsp Forums > Off-Topic > General Chat > Jokes Thread
Prev1234Next
Add Reply New Topic New Poll
Member
Posts: 4,044
Joined: Nov 1 2010
Gold: 0.00
Feb 28 2013 03:19pm
Quote (OrionGG @ Feb 25 2013 09:02am)
this thread could go south quick. locking in my inb4


So could that black guy that didn't go to college.
Member
Posts: 81
Joined: Mar 3 2013
Gold: Locked
Trader: Scammer
Warn: 10%
Mar 4 2013 10:10pm
he goes to college..LIKE YO MOM
Member
Posts: 31,209
Joined: Sep 26 2008
Gold: 0.00
Mar 5 2013 02:55am
Quote (wraps @ Feb 25 2013 09:58pm)
Q: What do you do when a Blond throws you a grenade?
A: Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.


Why have I not heard those before? :rofl:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead step into an elevator to their office. After the doors close, they notice something white and sticky on the floor. The redhead bends over, smells it, and says "It smells like semen..."

The brunette reaches down to touch it, saying "Sure feels like cum..."

The blonde dips down, licks it up, and says "Well, it's definitely not anyone in this building."
Member
Posts: 973
Joined: Aug 4 2009
Gold: 1.00
Mar 6 2013 09:17am
I.. tried to catch the fog.....I... mist...
Member
Posts: 3,215
Joined: Sep 22 2005
Gold: 84.48
Mar 18 2013 07:30am
You guys hear about the goldfish tha went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.
-

If you have a knife and salt shaker on a table, what do you have?

A salt with a deadly weapon. <-- this much funnier when at a restaurant and you can just put the two together and say "what is this?"

This post was edited by jonnybloodbath on Mar 18 2013 07:32am
Member
Posts: 3,215
Joined: Sep 22 2005
Gold: 84.48
Mar 18 2013 07:34am
I haven't slept for 7 days. Cuz that would be too long.
Member
Posts: 21,692
Joined: Jul 15 2005
Gold: 95.00
Apr 3 2013 07:56pm


A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
“I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just
roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from
his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.
Member
Posts: 27,086
Joined: Mar 7 2008
Gold: 685.00
Apr 6 2013 10:28am
Quote (Vicc @ 3 Apr 2013 20:56)
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/549481_495462590508303_194044217_n.jpg

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
“I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just
roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from
his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.


lol

This post was edited by eric838 on Apr 6 2013 10:29am
Member
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 6 2013
Gold: 0.00
Apr 7 2013 02:13am
Quote (Vicc @ Apr 3 2013 09:56pm)
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/549481_495462590508303_194044217_n.jpg

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and
his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered,
“I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just
roommates."

About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just
to be sure." He sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
your son.

Several days later, he received an email from
his Mother which read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and
I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.


that's golden. haha. when would the mom have had time to take a plate and move it to the room.

yaya. dont mean to ruin a good joke
Member
Posts: 21,692
Joined: Jul 15 2005
Gold: 95.00
Apr 8 2013 07:14pm
A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday

It would be funny if this joke had a punch line

Wooden tit
Go Back To General Chat Topic List
Prev1234Next
Add Reply New Topic New Poll