Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I'm dating this fly latino chick Marcia that I met at hooters and decided to take her out on a date to the beach since it was a nice beautiful sunny day. I'm a thug that will do what ever it takes to stick my anaconda dong in some hot poon. Told her I was a doctor who graduated from Harvard medical school in a space amount of one year
(Bitchz dig a smart, handsome, muscly young thug who reels in the paypa) - Girls who are like this only go out with rich euro-fags that are religious. Had to tell a tiny white lie in order to get laid. That's how a playa rolls.
I'm drivin' to her apartment in my hummer takin' up both lanes and watchin' pussies drive up on the foot path to clear way for me (Even the police). They didn't dare say shit since they saw my lisence plate 'B@RB3R3N'
I get to the driveway and remembered Marcia saying not to beep since her sick grandmother was in town and needed to recover from surgery. I beeped so loud that the cars next to me parked alarms went off and dogs started barking and howling, babies woke up and started crying. Her grandma musta had a heart attack or some shit from all the noise. I couldn't care less. I just rolled my window down in broad day light and rolled up a blunt infront of some pre school kids with my aviators on.
Joey: Hey mr! Mrs Krandel told us that smoking is a filthy habit and only hurts you.
Loochi: *Takes his aviators off and puts it in his dash board* I couldn't give a fuck what miss Krandel said. Tell her to shove it up her ass!
Joey's mom: *Grabs Joey by the hand and gets ready to walk off* You sir are the most moronic person here on this street. How dare you speak to my little boy with such harsh words. Don't you realise he's onl--
About now I tuned out and started staring at her fake tits and made it obvious too when I brang my face 5 centimetres from her chest, she had some fine tits brothers. All I gotta say is Joey's one lucky S.O.B to have had suck on that shit.
Joey: Mom what's he doing?
Joey's mom: *goes red* Let's go Joey, this man is a creep *Walks off fast*
Marcia: Loochi!
*runs in her heels with 9 gucci bags and her little chiwawa dog to hug me*
Loochi: Heh, sup babe. Was just at the orphanage donating 100 mil. Might go to the salvation army after our date and give another 45 bil.
Marcia: Ohhhh so sweet of you!! The other guys who I knew only used their money to buy beers. You give away millions of dollars to the needy. Such a turn on papi.
(Little did Marcia realise that I only had $1.30USD in my bank balance and had already spent it on tearhaunch boots. They are glitched and give vigor. Needed the extra speed in duels)
Loochi: Don't mention it. I was destined to give away loads of money to the poor. Shall we go to the beach?
Marcia: YES PAPI!
- By the way.. Do you know who beeped just before? My grandmother is crying because she was so frightend.
Loochi: What? I didn't hear a thing.. Otherwise I woulda knocked him in the head.
We reach the beach and got into our swim gears. I had a pair of short shorts pre ordered from Blizzard.com with a picture of the barbarian which appears to be weilding a bow. Not too shabby - Instructed to blizzard that I needed an extra extra large since my muscley legs couldn't fit in the last pair. Plus needed to be able to leap in something comfortable incase a tsunami came towards our direction. Y'all know what happend to Sri Lanka a while back. Coulda been avoided if they knew about D2 and used Leap.
Marcia looks fine with her awesome Tits jupming up and down and her apple bottom swinging side to side runnin' down the beach.
Marcia: Come swim with me Loochi
Loochi: I gotta take care of some medical files. I'll come over in a sec
Marcia: Ok Dr Loochi. Don't work too hard
I quickly layed on the sand to get a good tan and tried to log on to D2 but it said that there was no internet. I was pissed. This is America, the land of oppertunity and there's no fucking internet on the beach!? How was I going to
check if my tearhaunch boots arrived from binstore or not? Fuck this shit. Needed to go check the internet cafe quick. Fuck the pussy for now. I can get pussy when ever I want, Tearhaunch is once in a life time boots.
Loochi: Babe, The CEO of the hospital called me up. Said they needed the best surgeon ASAP. Mind if I pop back to the beach in about half an hour?
Marcia: AWWW
DON'T GO..
Loochi: Duty calls babe. I'll be back in a jiffy babe. I promise.
I drove down to the nearest internet cafe and logged on. BINGO! I recieved my boots with some perming instructions that I couldn't care less about. Got my homie Lil T to xfer them for me and man did I run quick. Not to mention the extra resist came in handy against those burning skeletons in the sewers. Now I can handle about 5 hits b4 I get into critical health before it was like 2 hits and my chicken mod would set off (Normal difficulty ofcourse)
I'm havin' fun with the boys chillin' and shit and I realised the time!! It was fuckin' 11 pm! I was with Marcia at 2pm! Shit! I drove down to her house and boy she wasn't impressed..
Marcia: You left me all by myself at the beach.. AND YOU DIDN'T CALL..
Loochi: Baby, I had to remove this guys cancer from his left ass cheek. Please be more understanding. My job is always on hte call. Not my fault God gave me talent to heal people? I'm like Ormus.
Marcia: Huh?
Loochi: Nothing.
Marcia: I don't know.. I want a man who can spend 24/7 with me...
Loochi: Baby you know I want that too.
About now my phone rang and Marcia had it in her bag! This couldn't be good. I needed to get it before her.
Loochi: BABE! LET ME GET IT! IT COULD BE ONE OF THE NURSES ASKING HOW TO DO A BARBA-SECTAMY!
Marcia:
Let me answer it! - Hello?
Rubbish truck driver: Loochi? Where have you been all day! The rubbish company does not tolerate absence from work. What is your excuse for having the day off at Californias biggest rubbish dump.
Marcia: ..... Is there something you wanna tell me Loochi?
Loochi: Oh yeah, i also have a rocket science degree but decided to keep it as a hobby
About now I got the biggest slap of my life across the cheek and got kicked out of her house. I don't think I will be seeing Marcia again... The first poon that got away. Not feeling too well brothers. Not to mention when I got back home to relieve some stress, I check my barbarian and my Tearhaunch has poofed. (Wtf?) - I'm in my garage write now depressed spray painting my gum boots dark green and gonna wear them soon in memory of my tearhaunch.
I don't know what I did to deserve this. How could such a good day turn to shit..
Guys, Has this happend to any of you? Serious replies only please.