Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
Guys.. Something bad happend to me today. I met this douche bag from JSP by the name of 'usmansimjee' who gave me foreign guild to help him xfer some stuff.
I come into the game strapped with my bonesnap ready to whack shit incase things look grim. I see usmansimjee transfering loads of gfg shit, flawd skull (something I've had my sights on since the moment I joined the d2 community) and a couple of stamina potions that could provide useful when traveling the arabian sands of Lut Gholein, ofcourse like most noobs he had some worthless junk that no body has ever heard of that I was planning to sell to Charsi (Sheko? Marla's kandy-scope? Natasha's set? Gheed's foresome!?! (wtf?) thought I'd sell this one to him since it had his name.) Some duped shit that I thought I'd sell and do Blizzard a favour. Stamina potion is all I needed to enhance my duels. Ever used one of those things? Feel like you're on some sorta steroids or some shit.
usmansimjee: Alright dude, I'm gonna get another char to pick this shit up and give it to my homie who just started D2.
Loochi: No problem man, I got you covered
As soon as usmansimjee left, I quickly picked up the items I mentioned earlier and sold it to the merchants and gave
Gheed his charm back.I quickly ran back and picked up the flawd skull that was shimmering on the ground. usmansimjee finally arrives and shit hits the fan..
usmansimjee: Alright back. Drop the stuff please.
Loochi: Sorry son, but I sold all those hacks to better the community of D2. Who knows, uber baal might come from selling all those hacks. Blizzard's way of saying 'thanks'
usmansimjee: Wtf? .. There is NO such thing as uber baal and why the hell did you sell that shit.. - Give back my 10fg you bm man. I'm going to post this on JSP. Actually..... Give me 100 fg. That shit cost me lots and you just either sold it or kept it for yourself
(Luckily he totally forgot about that flawd skull. I'll just play along
)
Loochi: That foreign guild is mine. You gave it to me for helping you out.
usmansimjee: HELP?? YOU SOLD MY SHIT..
Loochi: Wasn't yours. Gheed clearly had his name on his charm. Nice jack there son. I'm here to make things right on D2
usmansimjee: ... Ok. See you in court.
Loochi: LOL !
*The next day*
So I was at the gym pumpin' the leg press and had about 3/4's of the weights on it just to warm up (Decided to take it easy today since I was having sex all night with 2 virgin twins, long night and I'm tired. Last thing I want is an injury.) - People were making complaints since there was no more weights to use, since I was using it all up on my legs. I just give them one look and they pretend they're looking somewhere else. Everyone knows not to fuck with an OG pimp.
As I get up to get a drink of water, a van full of cops come busting through the doors with handcuffs and cuff me to the steel pole nearby (wtf ?)
Officer Mike: You're under arrest for selling another persons belongings to the merchant charsi on Diablo II. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say could be used aga--
Loochi: No the fuck he didn't.. usmansimjee that fuckin pussy punk bitch!
I quickly break out of the cuffs with my barbarian strength and shove off the police men that were on top of me struggling to hold me down (must abeen about 7 of them) with a warcry motion / gesture that sent them flying about 2km's away in each direction (much like BO)
I get into my ferrari enzo and drive to the court house to arrive on time and beat the shit out of this kid for snitchin on an OG thug like me.
I kick the door down and as I expected usmansimjee, like a bitch had about 8 body guards around him incase this woulda happend. I see Lil T and D Baby in the jury hollerin' some shit at me, really wanna go there and knock them out for fun but later to that shit. I take a seat at the front and get confronted by the judge.
Judge Purcell: You're Loochi are you not? Care to explain what happend to this young man's belongings? Who is representing you?
Loochi: I shall be representing my self your honor, I don't need no pussy ass lawyers to justify what I did.
Judge Purcell: Very well, let's hear your side of the storey.
Loochi: I ain't gotta tell you shit. If Gheed was here, he'd tell you his charm was jacked by this low life. Look at him hiding like a bitch.. Justice, is what I'm bringing to you ladies and gentlemen
Judge Purcell: Who is gheed? Is he in here?? Stand up Gheed. We need you to clarify this.
usmansimjee: Omfg. Gheed is not a real life person. He's an animated D2 character. Your honor, this is stupid.. We all know he sold my stuff and he won't return my forum gold.
About now the jury were whispering to eachother to wether I'm guilty or not.. Bad news guys...
D Baby: You're honor, we've come to a decision........... Sorry Looch'. But you did lock me and Lil T up in the car and drove it into the lake to die that one time... We choose guilty.
Loochi: I'm gonna kick both of your fucking asses you pussies.
usmansimjee: Finally some justice..
Judge Purcell: ORDER! Loochi. For your ways you shall recieve 3 months imprisonment in maximum security prison. Case dismissed.
usmansimjee: YUS!
Loochi: The fuck!?
As I was getting dragged away, I had 3 things on my mind..
1) Beat the shit out of Lil T and his cousin D Baby when I get out
2) Get ouf of prison and ask for usmansimjee's so I can kick his ass
3) Dream about what I'm going to do with my flawd skull when I get out.
I'm so depressed right now, Jail was the last place I'd picture my self in...
Gotta look at the bright side though, I got a flawd skull out of all this.
Was it worth it guys? (Serious replies only please.)