Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I was drivin home from this chicks house that I recently took away her virginity. I always wear a singlet and my avtiators when I'm driving, even when It's night time. Never know when a group of hot gals will be lookin, gotta keep shit smooth. I have my biceps hangin out the window to let pussies know who the fuck's rollin' past. Just I was about to turn to my road, I get a call from Lil T.
Lil T: Sup Looch', come pick me and D Baby up from the local high school. We just found 4 hot chicks and we were telling them all about you and shit. They wanna have a picnic down lake and want to get to know us. I got the condoms with me xD
Loochi: Better have double D's otherwise I'm gonna smack you across the head. See you in 3 min's.
I get there in my lamogini and set my hydrolics up and down hitten them switches. I turn heads with my gangsta rap music up loud, princple didn't like this one bit and came right up to my window to try tell me to turn it down.. BIG mistake
Princple Prickly: Excuse me sir, please leave this premisis you are distrupting the aura of peace around here.
Loochi: *rolls window down and a bunch of chronic smoke comesout* Aura?? The fuck you smokin chief? Do I look like a paladin to you? I'ma fuckin straight up barbarian *flexes biceps*
Princple Pricky: *backs down like a bitch and mumbles something under his breath while walkin back to the school.*
The girls saw how I handled business and I can see in my blind spot that their nipples were poking out and a wet patch by their vag. Guess the like the way I roll. I see Lil T and D Baby escorting 3 10/10 babes towards my way, and 1 fat whale that needed atleast one year of lipsuction and a serious jenny craig diet mixed with a rocky routine to get rid of her jelly.
Mindy: Wow, Lil T was right about you.. You are a big stud
Loochi: *Looks at Lil T* The fuck faggot??
Sally & Tracy: CAN WE PLEASE SQUEEZE YOUR BICEPS PLZZZ
Loochi: Only if you eat my ass hole
They seemed pretty keen on the deal even though I was joking
Patricia: *Eating cheesy poofs* Hey Loochi, Can I sit in your car and maybe make out with you?
Loochi: Sorry toots, but my car can't handle elephant sized freaks and I don't operate heavy machinary
About now patricia is all swearing at me and calling me a vain pig. D baby is hollerin at the way I shot her down. She kept talkin shit and threatned to kick my car and leave a dent. I thought 'fuck this shit' and I set the hydrolics on her feet. She's all cryin and shit and her girl friends are laughin at her for bein a fat sack of shit.
I ripped out a fresh bottle of alize and skulled 2/5's of it and I'm drivin with 3 honnies in the front seat with me, D baby in the back and I put Lil T in the boot, he's all screaming for help and shit while we laugh drivin to the lake.
We get to the lake and I open the trunk and Lil T's unconcious. What a bitch. I decided since it was a nice sunny day I would like to get a tan. Took off my top and I lay on the grass lookin' like a greek sculptur of zeus. The 3 girls come sprinting touching my chest and abs, I'm pissed right now because I just wwant some peace and quite so I told them to fuck off.
Mindy: I heard you're rich..!! Buy me something!
Loochi: Yeah I guess I do have 2 cathans masks and a ethreal lenymo sash. Nt to mention spent a thul into my bonesnap which no man would dare do beacuse they think it's too pricy
Sally: Huh??
Tracy: I think he's talking about Gucci designer gear
Loochi: My gear is legit. I don't fucking hack son.
D Baby's all jealous since he worked so hard on his colm-over hair cut to try impress them when all I had to do was just be an OG and get them without trying. Starts talking shit tryna steal them from me.
D Baby: I was the one who hooked Loochi up with his items. If it weren't for me, he'd still be using a cracked club.
Loochi: What the fuck son? Screwin over your homies for some poon?
D Baby knew he was introuble when I stood up and lifted my aviators. The girls had their mouths dropped to the floor because they've never seen me angry. I'm walking like the terminator and I'm ready to kick his fucking ass for acting like a pussy whipped bitch. Guess he's just like his cousin. A fuckin bitch.
D Baby attempts to run back to the car like a bitch! I can't believe the nerve on this pussy! Takes after his cousin Lil T. D Baby makes iti n the car and before he can turn on the iginition I punch through the window like a level 7 bash and start punchin the shit out of him like a barbarian using fury. The girls saw the violence and started crying and shit ruinin my buzz. Might go over and knock them the fuck out.
D Baby was unconcious so I put him inthe trunk next to his pussy cousin and took off his pants incase the fed's found them they'll know they're gay for sure. I took the girls over the corner and made them eat my asshole, they wouldn'ts stop crying. I pulled up my pants and threatend if any of this got out I'd come back and fuckin kill them. They still cry with but now they have a bit of shit around their mouths. I drove the car straight into the lake and it fell about 90 meteres below. Got rid of the evidence and I don't think I'll be seeing Lil T or D baby for a while.
Rang up my homie G_Bomb and asked him to come chill and bring some blunts.
Guys.. Have any of your friends tried to make you look like joke infront of girls to get the poon??