Sup guys, It's me Loochi. *Part 1*
So I got a urgent text from my main man T stating that the college prom was due to hit tonight and we needed to look classy ASAP in order to slam some young naieve broads.
Lil T: Sup Big L. The Hamilton prom is tonight and I got a ticket for me and this hot babe! You should try to get a ticket too bro.
Loochi: No need son, I'll just walk in. Pussy ass security guards wouldn't dare try shit when I'm around.
Lil T: Hah. Vouch.
I quickly get on my motor bike and drive through the window of the prom suit parler and make a scene. Glass everywhere and people runnin' around like pussies. Took off my aviators and walked straight to the counter like how a BVB would walk when he's vsing another BVB. (Retardedly fast)
Loochi: Sup, I need you to make a custom fit suit for a guy with biceps the size of a barbarian and Legs like tree trunks.
Jennifer: ... Mm.. I think we have that in store atm actually, Name and address please?
Loochi: Heh, Just put me under 'Talic the barbarian, protector of mount arreat'
Jennifer: Ok Talic, and your address?
Loochi: Lut Gholein. I know.. It's a fucked up name. Some where near Iraq. Bloody arabs
About now we both laughin and hollerin at the race but back to business.
Jennifer: Ok we'll have the suit ready in no time Talic
Enjoy your day.
Loochi: *picks his bike up and puts his aviators back on* Oh and sweet cheeks, Make sure the elbow and knee area in the outfit are baggy.. I don't want to have restricted knees and elbows incase of a fight
Jennifer: *Bites her bottom lip at how much of a bad boy I am*
Next stop was the hair dressors. I needed a haircut that made me stand out and make me look like an alpha male. Something that will make the girls panties drop with a blink of an eye. I sit down on the chair and adjust my face towards the mirror. Waiting for the fag to chop it to the way I want it.
Danny: Heeeeeeeeeyyyy, Welllcomeeeeeeeeeee. Whattttttt Cannnnnnnnnnn I Dooooooooooooodoododo Forrr yoyoyouuuuu
Loochi: Enough with the pleasantries, let's keep it simple fagasaur. This is EXACTLY what I want. Nothing more, Nothing less. *Hands out a picture of the barbarian from the diablo 2 manual*
Pussy ass hair dressor kept his mouth shut and shaved my hair off good. I'm seeing Brad pitt through the mirror in the making. Never thought someone as handsome as I am would turn into super handsome. I'm getting laid tonight without a doubt. Got up from my seat and picked up the hair of the floor.
Danny: EwwwWWWwwwww WHAaaattttttt Arrrreeeeeeeee YOuouoyoyouooooo DOINGINGIGNGNIgg...
Loochi: Taking it with me incase I feel like glueing it back on son. You mad?
Danny: HEEYYYY YOURRR SUPPOSSEEE TO PAAAYYYYYYY T_T..
Loochi: *puts his aviators lower so the guy can see his eyes* Heh.. You actually think a barbarian like me pays for what he wants? *Laughs out loud like baal after a wave of monsters been killed*
Got on my bike and headed towards the tattoo parler to tie the knot on my new look. I go in and I see some blonde with double D's and tattoo's all over her melons. I walk up to her and take off my aviators.
Loochi: *Stares at breasts* Sup, I want a tattoo on my face.
Katrina: Sure hun, What would you like it to be of?
Loochi: The stripe on the right side of the barbarians face. That is the only way people will know I am from harrogath.
Katrina: ???
Loochi: *Pulls his pants down to his barbarian briefs and points to it.
Katrina: Ohhhh sure hun
We can do that.
Katrina does a fine job but forgot to tell me that on the first day of the tattoo. The area swells up. About now I look like Brian peppers and shit. I wasn't impressed..
Loochi: THE FUCK!? I wanted a barbarian face.. NOT BRIAN PEPPERS ... How am I suppose to get laid with my face like this?!!
Katrina: I think brian peppers is cute with his frog eyes and his rapest mentality.. dw hun! You'll be fine by tomorrow!
Hopefully if I put some ice on it, It will cool it down. Gave Katrina a fake hundred dollar bill that I had in my wallet from Lil T's Monopolly game and boosted off back to the prom suit parler to pick up my suit for tonight.
So far so good